(Closed) "If you want marriage, don't marry someone who won't elope."

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: For you and your SO, is/was eloping ever an option?

    No, not for me

    No, not for my SO

    Maybe, for me

    Maybe, for my SO

    Yes, for me

    Yes, for my SO

  • Post # 61
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wanted a city hall wedding.  I hate planning parties and I’m terrible at it and it just stresses me out, and I knew I’d be the one doing all the planning if we had a big wedding.

    But DH wouldn’t hear of it; he always knew he’d have the same kind of big wedding everyone else in his family had.

    So I planned and we had the big wedding. It wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be, and I had a great time the day of, so I guess it was fine. My focus was less on the wedding, though, and more being excited to get and be married, and once we decided on the big wedding, he was on the same page.

    Post # 62
    2176 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    couldn’t the opposite also be true — don’t marry someone that isn’t willing to get married in front of all your family and friends and that someone that would stand up in front of everyone & spend tons of money must love you more than anything? And that if someone only wants to hide away that they aren’t ready for marriage


    (I am not saying that I believe this just trying to show the other side of the coin)

    Post # 63
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Someone has probably said this before, but some people simply don’t have the option of eloping, for religious reasons.

    That said, some couples are much more into the wedding than the marriage, IMO, so it makes sense from that perspective… by marrying a pro-elopement person, you will at least know that they don’tt just want a party.

    Post # 64
    2330 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My FI’s sister eloped when she was 21. Even though she has been happily married for 9 years, it devastated the family. They are very traditional.

    My fiance would NEVER do that to their parents again. So eloping isn’t even an option nor has it ever even been brought up in conversation. 

    So I am marrying someone who won’t elope and I am totally ok with that. 

    Post # 65
    29 posts
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We are having a very small wedding with immediate family only, so it’s almost like we’re eloping! We had talked about it, but knew our mothers would kill us if they weren’t there, so we picked the next best thing!

    I don’t think absolutes like “If you want marriage, don’t marry someone who won’t elope” are ever true for everyone. You have to do what works/feels right for you. Sure, people can get caught up in the whole party and details of the day instead of focusing on what your marriage will be like after… I think that is something that is more worrisome than whether you would/wouldn’t elope.


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