(Closed) If you were a bridesmaid…

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I would prefer the bride cover some expenses, because I’m a very picky person and I know it’s hard for people get something I really like – not that I don’t appreciate it! But I think either way you go, your bridesmaids will appreciate your gesture. 🙂

Post # 18
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

@raabdm: since they are your sisters, i think this would be ok, bc it could be called a sisters spa day…..

i think it would be fine.

Post # 19
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I’d rather have some aspect paid for. 

Post # 20
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would prefer to have the "gift" cover some of the expenses.  Although most bridesmaids know that standing in a wedding involves costs, it is always appreciated if some of those costs were subsidized.  🙂  And like amysue said, a nice personal note on the day of is very sweet.  (I figure events such as spa day or some activity for the group can be covered either in the bridal shower or bachelorette party.)

Post # 21
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’ve been a bridesmaid I have to say that after all the time energy and effort, I would probably be annoyed that all I got was a bbq, or a camping trip,  mostly due to the fact that every wedding I’ve been in, I haven’t really been good friends with most of the other bridesmaids or groomsmen.  I think I’ve only known (outside of the bride and groom) maybe one other bridesmaid, and in fact I have been in weddings where I can not stand someone in the bridal party.  I pulled it together for the sake of my friend, but asking me to deal with this girl for any longer might have put me in jail for homicide.  If there were reasons for this, like they couldn’t afford to get everyone gifts but wanted to thank them I’d be more inclined to be ok with it. 

I think getting them a gift is nice,  I particularly enjoy getting my mani pedi paid for, or my jewelry,or  having some small trinket given to me as well, I’m picky too, but a nice frame is always good, and you can get a copy of a beautiful shot of just the two of you, or her with her date and it always goes over well.

 

Post # 22
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I completely agree with Elizziebeth.

Post # 23
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I know its very normal for BMs to pay for their dresses and hair,etc. but when you’re spending sooo much on a wedding including maybe unneccesary things or extra guests you don’t even know…. as a bride it seems odd to me that we wouldn’t pay BM dress, hair, makeup (especially  if they want the BMs to wear something specific  or really want hair and makeup done ) for people who are your  best friends/siblings. Why would you give someone the honour of standing up with you and then make them pay for it? Especially when they help so much (hopefully). And although paying to get their hair done, and for the dresses you want, and the jewellery they wear is just has much a gift for you as it is for them I’m pretty sure they’d rather you cover those costs then be given a gift. A heartfelt thank you for being in my life and my wedding and paying for the costs seems pretty good to me.

Post # 24
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I only  have one Bridesmaid or Best Man, so I want to get her something nice (which for my budget is like $100), but no idea what.  She is one of those lucky women with so many friends, that she is constantly a Bridesmaid or Best Man for people.  I told her to wear any dress she wants, so she is wearing a black dress she already owns.  She said that in iteself is a gift because she doesn’t have to buy another expensive Bridesmaid or Best Man dress that she hates.  She is not big on jewelry.  Would a gift certificate to her favorite store be too impersonal?  Especially since her favorite store is JCrew and $100 doesn’t buy you much there. Any suggestions?

Post # 25
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

well said champagnebride!!!!

Post # 26
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I personally am getting my Bridesmaids a Tiffanys bracelet with their initials engraved on it. (it’s $100 for the bracelet). I think they would rather have something from me that means alot to them. I wish I could go on an outing afterwards! that sounds like a great idea!! but getting them together for a weekend would be impossible! its hard enough getting them all together for lunch!! LOL

but anyway! haha I think you should do something personal for them! i think later down the road they would appreciate it more. you dont have to go all out! do what all of our moms have always said! "It means most when it comes from the heart!" 🙂  hahah

Post # 27
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I have to say I have tried to be very controlled in the things I ask my girls to do.  I chose very nice and simple bridesmaids gowns in a navy blue (which can totally be shortened to cocktail length and worn again) I’m asking them to pay for their hair, everything else I’m either ambivalent about (shoes and pedicures) or I’m paying for (nails and jewelry). 

As gifts I’m planning on giving them a nice vase to put their bouquets in at the main table (plus then we don’t have to get flowers for the table), plus a variety of little stupid things that are tailored to the girl.  I’m also indvidualizing the bouquets they carry, so they will all be very similar, but the white flowers in Maid/Matron of Honor will be white roses, Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 will have white french tulips and BM#3 will have while lillies, so they have a bouquet thats totally theirs.  We’re also going to leave them little goodie bags in their hotel rooms (since all will be newlyweds within the last 18 months) of champagne, chocolate dipped strawberries and some really great bathrobes  and slippers we found on sale for each girl and her husband (we want to thank them too, since they have to put up with the bridesmaids doing all kinds of work, and sacrificing time and money to my cause).

You don’t have to do much, all told we’re actually spending about 75 dollars on each of the bridesmaids gifts, which is probably just as much(if not more with the cost of food going up) as you would spend on food, beverages and gas for the grill

Post # 28
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

I would rather have something like hair/make-up or hotel covered. So much money is flying around, why bring more into the mix? Some presents can be really nice and some of them end up just being "stuff".

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