Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Poll: Would you have more than one dress if you were told that your extra dress(es) will be paid for?
It appears to be the cultural norm for a bride to be changing into more than one dress. In a lot of similar cultural weddings I’ve been to, the bride wears 3 dresses: a cheongsam, a ceremony dress and a reception gown.
I’m trying to have a low-key, fun, not-too-formal event for a wedding though I’m sure it could be formal and still be fun! Long story short, my dress is tea-length with a 1950s silhouette, which works for both an outdoor church ceremony & reception.
My mother, on the other hand, is excited about the wedding (more than I) and was insisting on finding me another wedding dress. (Something that is ‘elaborate’ or luxurious in her view)
She started the whole extra dress thing by asking me to send my measurements, so that she could buy Chinese silk from Singapore. My grand-aunt would then tailor a cheongsam.
(Cheongsam = traditional Chinese column/sheath dress, with a high slit on the bottom to allow movement)
Laughing, I told my mother flatly that I would look pregnant with a “luxurious” traditional Cheongsam, with my curvy body shape! (Here’s a thread I created for curve-friendly Cheongsam ideas) Her exact words in Chinese was she wants the qi pao to be 高贵!
This was the Chinese brocade silk dress pattern I found via BurdaStyle that I really like for its simplicity AND that cute bow! Of course, my mother said, “It’s not bridal enough! It looks like something you’d wear at the office.” (I’m really hating the word “bridal”; no offense.)
I guess I fear to hear the judgement my Future In-Laws would cast on me by letting my mother spoil me? Does that make sense?
Post # 3
No, I would not. But it’s not part of my culture to have multiple dresses, as I know it is in some (ex.: I have a friend who’s Morrocan and when he got married, his bride changed 3 times during the evening. From what she told us, it can be 5 to 7 dresses in big weddings).
Post # 4
If it was my culture, I would, only because I like sticking to tradition.
How do you feel about sticking to tradition? Do you want more than one?
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
@chic_and_fabulous: When I was a kid, maybe! It was fun to see the bride in different dresses. However, things are a bit different in Asia; businesses have evolved around budget-brides who prefer to rent dresses, which is typically part of a photography package. Dresses aren’t cheap in N. America.
Following traditions is kind of a tough call as it would be an inter-cultural marriage (English/German/SE Asian Chinese). I’m straying away from a traditional Chinese banquet; opting for buffet style dinner instead to allow for maximum mingling. The cheongsam is an understandable compromise as it goes hand-in-hand with a tea ceremony. However, I’ve been to one wedding where the bride wore her white dress. A tea ceremony typically lasts for an hour, depending on how many family members (from the bride) there are.
I think when my mom said “reception dress”, it would almost be prom-like:
I am assuming that would what fit in her “luxurious” description (while I think cheesy in a cute way). I think she’s persuading me to do this more so to save face as it is normal for Chinese guests to expect me to change dresses throughout the day. (Shudder!) The whole reason of having a Destination Wedding is to spend as much time as possible with guests (family & friends) without feeling rushed. Also, because I’m the only daughter in the family… my mother appears to be fussing a lot!
I’m just not sure if wearing multiple dresses is part of tradition or if it has become a modern cultural norm for displaying wealth.
Post # 6
I think the thing about interfaith weddings for our parents, that many brides do not always realise, is that they may have ,to in a sense, give up on their vision for what they expected our wedding day to look like and that can be hard for them. Sure, it is OUR wedding but they are our parents and for those of us from Asian backgrounds, there opinions do matter.
I’m a south asian hindu girl, marrying a white christian guy, and I was so ready to forego all the traditions that I do not deem important (especially the ones that cost tonnes of extra money). But I figured that at the end of the day, if it’s not actually important then it does not matter whether I do it or not. Make sense? Some battles I’m letting my mom win because it makes me happy to make her happy… and just because I don’t care…
By the way, I’m wearing a traditional ceremony outfit and changing into a white dress for the reception…
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017
@Cynderbug: I am having a Japanese wedding and will be wearing 4 dresses on the day as per tradition. I first resisted saying it’s unecessary and a waste of money and time (to change) but FI’s parents offered to pay, so I am doing it to appease them and Fiance.