(Closed) If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you tell your potential future sister-in-law that you are close to being engaged?
    Tell her now, while it's indefinite, to give her time to adjust to the idea : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Tell her after she returns from the bachelorette weekend : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Don't tell her until I am engaged, and then call her personally : (33 votes)
    87 %
    Other - please provide ideas! : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I would tell her (now) about the conversation you had with your SO about the banquet (assuming that’s how close you are to her – NOT because you are trying to spare her feelings).

    ETA:  if you’d normally not share that type of info with her – just wait until you are engaged to break the news.

    Post # 4
    4311 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would not get involved anymore than you need to.  Call her personally when you get engaged and leave it at that.

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I understand how you feel, I’m in a similar situation with a friend of mine. Don’t tell her until you’re actually engaged. While you can’t put your life on hold because of them, you can still be sensitive about her feelings. If you tell her before you’re engaged, you’re basically telling her twice, and it might come off as rubbing it in. Just wait until you’re engaged, then you can tell her.

    Post # 6
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I wouldn’t tell her until you’re engaged. I wouldn’t want the possibility of making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. It’s very considerate of you to have her feelings in mind, but honestly thats life and sometimes it doesn’t work out the way youd like it to. Hopefully she will understand that. 

    Post # 7
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @deetroitwhat:  This. 

    @MrsCVsomeday:  You do not need to “prepare” anyone about your upcoming (hopefully, fingers crossed for you!!!) engagement! Keep this conversation in between you and your man, and when it happens, share the good knews with everyone, her included. Not before. 


    Post # 8
    105 posts
    Blushing bee

    If you are the kind of friends who talk on the phone regularly, just share the conversation you had with your Boyfriend or Best Friend. If not, bring it up next time you see her. Just see how she responds. If she is upset, console her. If she’s excited for you, problem solved!

    But don’t give her to much pity, that wouldn’t feel good for her either. So don’t bent over backwards to make sure she feels comfortable.

    Post # 10
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Don’t say anything until you are engaged. Those feelings she has are HERS to deal with and work through, not yours.

    Post # 12
    5660 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Agreed with pp’s that you don’t need to “prepare”anyone for your upcoming engagement. The only people it concerns are you and youR hopefully soon Fiance. As your friend she should be able to put her personal feelings aside long enough to be happy for you. we have all been waiting at some point, some for longer than others but just because one person is waiting doesn’t meant their friends lives don’t continue to move at their own pace

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