Post # 16
My vote is either mom or step dad.
1) Mom has been there through it all
2) Step Dad (step parenting in general) is a tough, often times thankless job. If this man stepped in and raised you while your bio dad wasn’t able to, I think it’d be a great ‘thank you’ to him for sacrificing and devoting parts of his life to you that I’m sorry, your bio dad couldn’t or wouldn’t do.
Post # 17
What a great idea! Honors them both. And I think OP might be considering her bio dad’s feelings in all of this too which must make it tough? But given his inconsistent presence in your life do you expect that he will attend your wedding?
I know if my girl’s bio dad was still alive this would be added stress for them because they wouldn’t want for him to feel hurt…though as a mom when I think of all the times he wan’t there for them, all the times he “disappeared”…well let’s just say I’d be a bit less compassionate.
Post # 18
Thank you for all your replies! TBH I don’t think I’ll have he guts to walk down by myself lol I might consider both of them walking me down but I’m leaning more toward my mom lol
Post # 19
I’m in a similar situation. My father is out, but 2 uncles, my brother and mom all want to walk me down the aisle and are very vocal about it. I have told all of them that I have decided to walk myself down the aisle and they are all okay with know I am not chosing any of them.
Post # 20
I would vote setp-dad over bio dad as your step-dad is the one who has actually raised you and been the best father figure. But Mum is a great choice and would avoid dad-rivalry. She is the one who has raised you from birth. If you want to get more complex you could even do something like the two dads walking you to halfway where you mum meets you and takes you the rest of the way. I definitely wouldn’t choose cousin over mum.
Post # 21
Of course I respect your right to be traditional ..but ” the man who has raised you entrust another man to honor, respect and love you – to look at him man to man and in a sense say…”she is precious to me – I’m trusting to you”
is so amazingly patriarchal and belittling to OP’s mother , who, you bet your ass, did the bulk of actual raising, that I feel indignant on her behalf!!
And on OP’s actually , she is not an expensive vase or painting or something for custodianship to awarded from man to man .
Post # 22
I would walk myself. Actually, I did walk myself, and had DH meet me halfway down the aisle. I liked the symbolism of coming in to the marriage together. I did stop at the end of the aisle and give my dad a hug (my mom is deceased or I would have hugged her too) and it worked out really well.
Post # 23
If you don’t want to offend your real dad, I would go with your Mom.
Your step-dad would be my second choice; however, this does come with hurt feelings.
I don’t think simply being your real-dad is a free pass to walk your daughter down the isle. Blood isn’t everything, it’s those who raised you, cared for you, and loved you, that count in my books.
Post # 24
I am in the same situation and decided a long time ago to have my mom walk me down the aisle – she has been my constant my whole life so I just feel that she deserves that honor.
I’m planning to dance with both dad and step dad for the ‘father-daughter’ dance at the recpetion