(Closed) If you were paid to be a SAHM sayings and why I hate them.

posted 9 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1831 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

ohhhh I have a feeling this will go south quickly, but I can’t pretend like sometimes I don’t feel the same way. It pisses me off when I get home to DH with his feet up on the coffee table asking me what’s for dinner as soon as I get through the door. And after the kid gets here it won’t be any easier. 

Post # 4
Member
3600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

They drive me nuts, too. I mean, yes, I know they aren’t sitting at home eating bon-bons all day ala Peg Bundy, but we already know that.

Post # 5
Member
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

LOL I’m a stay at home mom and if there’s one thing nobody likes, it’s an insufferable martyr stay at home mom. Momming in general is hard. Nobody disputes that. Acting like you should get a Nobel Prize because you stay home all day and don’t bring home a paycheck is obnoxious. Accept the compliment when someone tells you you work hard; don’t go sniffing for them by lamenting the fact that you’re caring for the child you chose to have and the kid doesn’t give you a salary for it.

Post # 7
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

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@Miss Tattoo: I have a friend that posts things like that constantly on Facebook. Drives me crazy.

Post # 8
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I understand where  you’re coming from b/c some work has to be done regardless of your occupation unless you’re loaded and can afford to pay someone to do all the work that normal people do.  However, SAHM’s are grossly devalued in U.S.  Just look at our substandard maternity care and leave.  I suggest that you read “The Price of Motherhood: The Most Important Job is the Least Valued” by Ann Crittenden.  Before I read that book, I really looked down on SAHMs.  She doesn’t speak exclusively of SAHMs but of mothers.

Post # 9
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

I totally get where you are coming from, but I think there are a few points for both sides we all forget

Working mom’s have someone to take care of the kids during the day. Not all, but many have other kind of help ($ for convenience food, take out, cleaners, etc)

SAHM’s also take on more than working mothers would. Maybe they cook different dinners? Some bake, some spend more time cleaning, some do crafts, some take more time to save money shopping and clip coupons and shop at different stores, some decide to make their own baby food, I even tried making my own cheese! etc.

I am unemployed right now and I am filling up my days with no kids. I go to the gym more, I am at a friends right now helping her fix a computer, I take the dog to the dog park more, I cook more elaborate dinners… all stuff I wouldnt do as much if I were working.

Post # 10
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@Miss Tattoo: I agree. I always hated those stay at home mom sayings since I was a kid, because my mom was one of the few non-SAHM’s growing up. I always felt like saying, “My mom does everything you do AND works! You shouldn’t get some kind of trophy!” But I do understand that being a Stay-At-Home Mom has it’s own set of challenges. 

Post # 11
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Why are your friends writing that on your wall? Isn’t that weird/obviously rude?

Are they like, close friends who are trying to be funny? Or random people who should probably get unfriended anyhow…

Post # 12
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The posts kind of annoy me too. I mean, I get the fact that we just all want to be appreciated at the end of the day though. I work part time 2 days a week and a SAHM the other days, and I do both because I want to. There is no way I would say I should get paid for doing it, now would I want to… My son doesn’t have a price tag on him.

Also, these women claiming that they should be paid, who do they think would be paying them?? Society shouldnt have to pay me for looking after my child.

Post # 13
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I really don’t get why some people turn this subject into a competition (not on the boards but in real life).

Some people work b/c they have to.  Some people get to stay home.  I’m sure some working mom’s would love to be SAHMs and vice versa.  Obviously while there is no monetary compensation for being a Stay-At-Home Mom you’re rewarded daily with 8 to 12 hours of extra interaction with your children and that is worth a lot of money in my opinion.

I’ll be a working mom b/c I have to be (lottery winning pending….) and 90% of facebook messages annoy me;  I should probably just delete it.

Post # 14
Member
2088 posts
Buzzing bee

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@red_rose: I think she means they’re making it their status, and she sees it on her news feed.

Post # 16
Member
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I can see where you are coming from I guess but I really don’t agree.  SAHM’s are so undervalued and people don’t really appreciate everything that goes into taking care of children and running a house for 16 hours a day, every day.  It is a very different set of responsibilities and work than people who go to a job/office for 8 hours a day (plus lunch plus commute make it ~10 hours) and then are at home for 6.  (all assuming the standard 8 hours of sleep for either individual).

Neither is right, wrong, or better but I think many people view Stay-At-Home Mom moms as lazy or “just” moms without really thinking about everything that goes into the role.

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@Miss Pinup: These people aren’t claiming they should be paid.  They’re just pointing out that being a Stay-At-Home Mom has a value, just like being a doctor, working in an office, or running the register at McDonald’s.  That value is normally intangible because they don’t get paid like those other jobs do so they are putting the value in a perspective that non-SAHM’s can understand.

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