If you were proposed to without a ring, would you be ok with it?

posted 3 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

This is what I get for writing a response when I’m half awake. Meant to say that I think I would be ok with it. 

Post # 32
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee

That’s funny cause here the norm is to propose without a ring and then go shopping together.

Post # 33
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

I would absolutely be ok with it. But in my case, I wasn’t expecting a proposal at all and I might have thought he was joking if he hadn’t been holding a ring…

Post # 34
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

Absolutely!  But there should be a plan in place to get a ring. 

Post # 36
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

See, I think that words are just too easy without some financial investment. Any old random dude can propose to me while I’m in Target if all we needed was some words. 

I would not be okay without a ring. Doesn’t need to be a big shiny ring, but I need something more than just some dumb lovey words. 

Post # 37
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee

I’d be fine with it.

Post # 38
Member
15 posts
Newbee

My fiancé proposed with a puppy, which was a huge surprise! He said he wanted to get a ring but really wanted me to be part of picking it out, so we spent the few days following looking at rings and then picking one together.  It was perfect and felt so romantic!

Post # 39
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m an adult making an adult decision with my partner who is also an adult. I can buy a ring anytime.

Post # 40
Member
22 posts
Newbee

My husband proposed to me in Venice with 1 knee down, even without a ring, got teary and surprised! Of course I said yes! But he promised me that 1 day he will give me one. Now we’re 3 years married and we already got a child. Just a month ago my husband kept his promise he got me natural diamond ring and I super love it. 

 

Post # 41
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee

Well, considering I know the ring is in the process of being designed right now, my reaction would be, “You couldn’t be patient enough to wait until it was made?!?” Haha 

That being said, if we hadn’t discussed the ring, and he’d had a heartfelt moment and proposed to me without, I wouldn’t have been mad about it. I would still want a ring, because I love rings in general and can’t wait to wear one symbolizing our commitment, but if that came after the proposal, that would be fine. 

Post # 42
Member
8857 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

megm1099 :words are just too easy without some financial investment.” — But why would you be dating someone that you couldn’t take at his word? You’re saying you don’t trust what your husband says unless he has some financial stake in it? This is so weird to me. I wouldn’t date a guy if I felt this way about him, much less accept a proposal from him.

Post # 43
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

The question of, “Did he propose yet?” always confuses me. Real life proposals should not happen as a big elaborate surprise, with the woman waiting with bated breath, and the man taking all the initiative, somehow magically knowing the woman’s ring size and personal taste. We’re not living in a Jane Austen novel.

Long story short, no, I would not be ok with an actual, formal proposal without a ring because my expectation would be that we have multiple talks about marriage/timelines (initiating marriage talks does not count as a proposal), draft an informal prenup (we wrote out a “we-nup” and stuck it on the fridge), do some form of premarital counseling (we went through a 100 part online questionaire) meet each other’s families, pick a ring together, then he does a nice thoughtful “proposal” with the ring as a ceremonial gesture so he’s not just tossing a ring box at me. 

The funny thing is, I think my bf technically has proposed already. This was sans ring, but that was ok because we had already done all the above minus getting the actual ring. I knew it was heartfelt and sincere, and it made me tear up. 🙂

Post # 44
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

rez123 :  That’s the way my mum and dad did things, and that was 60+ years ago. I always assumed that was the way things went because I didn’t know any better. Dh asked me without a ring, and we began shopping afterwards; it seemed natural to me.

Post # 45
Member
6784 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would definitely be ok with this. Marriage isn’t about jewellery, and a proposal to me needs only to be truthful and heartfelt – not materialistic. 

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