(Closed) If you were the bride would you be insulted?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you wear?
    the prom dress : (1 votes)
    1 %
    a spring summer dress : (94 votes)
    99 %
    other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yeah, I’m with you on this one.  A prom dress is totally not an appropriate choice for this.  If it was an evening wedding, and the dress was not too prom-y, MAYBE….but it just doesn’t seem right.  And I’ve worn a lot of prom dresses in my day.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If the prom dress is short I don’t think it would be offensive or competitive… but I agree with you that a cute sundress would be much better.

    Can the girl claim they gave the dress away? “Oh I’m so sorry, SweetRose’s mom but I gave the dress to a charity for underprivileged girls who can’t afford prom dresses. But I do have this great spring dress that will look great!”

    Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would personally stay out of it.  But if I was in the GF’s shoes I would just not go to the wedding if someone was going to “force me” to wear an old prom dress

    Post # 6
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I try not to by rude, but I’d see this as the first step in a ‘FMIL’s way or the highway’ battle, and if I were the girlfriend I’d be tempted to wear the spring dress or something even more casual just to spite your mom. I think the GF’s definitely right in not wanting to wear the prom dress, and Future Mother-In-Law needs to step off. (Sorry, I know Future Mother-In-Law in this scenario is your ma, but I would never let Mr.ND’s ma tell me what to wear.)

    Maybe, as the daughter, you can tell your mom that she’s overstepping her bounds and that learning to dress properly for an occasion is something that all people learn, and as an adult, the Girlfriend can’t have her attire dictated by her boyfriend’s mom.

    ETA- Truly, not being rude to you SweetRose, just stating what my perspective would be as the Girlfriend. I’d appreciate the sister in my corner, for sure!

    Post # 9
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @SweetRose2011: Completely understood but if the Girlfriend wants to be a part of your family she needs to learn how to “control” your mom her self. I would be frustrated in the same situation.  Since you said you would help out, I would like PP said talk to your mom about this. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    How old is the prom dress? Can she get away with saying it doesn’t fit? Or say the zippers broke? LOL.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1843 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Ummmm, if she’s a grown woman, I’m pretty sure she can wear what she wants to the wedding and it surely shouldn’t be this big of a deal with your brother or your mom.  WOW!  If your brother is wearing a suit, she can wear a spring dress and it will look just fine.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I do agree with some of the PPs, though. Maybe you should just call the Girlfriend, tell her that you’re totally willing to back her up, but maybe this should be a phone call that she makes. If she does end up in the family, she won’t always want (and you wouldn’t want her) to come to you to ‘buddy up.’ Maybe it’ll do your mom (AND your little brother) some good to have a ‘challenger.’  Hahah.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    As a bride I would not be insulted; but I don’t think that a prom dress is an appropriate wedding attire for a simple guest.

    I hope your mother will understand that it is not her place to decide what someone who is not her child and who is not five years old is going to wear… I think this is even more inappropriate than the thought of wearing a prom dress to a wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    659 posts
    Busy bee

    a prom dress seems way too dressy for the event and it does seem like competing with the bride.

    Post # 15
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Has anyone seen short prom dresses lately? It’s been (a lot of) years since my own prom, but my younger sister had a short prom dress that would be completely appropriate for a wedding. Prom dresses are now apparently not as formal as they were when I went! My sister told me nobody wore anything like my ball gown dress from 2000… makes me feel old. And I’m not even 30 yet.

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