(Closed) If Your Ex Proposes to Win You Back… Would You Say Yes?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hmm this one is tough especially since I dont know all the extremley hurtful and damaging things that happened between you too. 

Honestly if I were in your shoes I would just keep things the way they are, no reason to rush into a proposal, if youre meant to be together you will, but in my opinion theres no need to rush.

Post # 4
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with the previous poster. Dont rush it..if it’s meant to happen it will

Post # 5
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not rush a proposal, especially with this sort of up-and-down past. 

Post # 6
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, and I apologize in advance if this sounds harsh but youths only way you would get back together is based on a proposal it sounds like you want the wedding more then the man.I’ve been at this point many times inyay 5 yr relationship and had thoughts of giving the ultimatum but at the end of the day what is the difference between acommitted relationship and marriage? 

Post # 7
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well, I wouldn’t get back with him unless he proposed.  Then again, I just wouldn’t get back with him.  If he’s hurt you in the past you’ll have a hard time forgetting that.  He may still be the same guy you fell in love with, but he’s also the same guy you broke up with. 

Post # 8
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Don’t push him into a proposal. Stay friends, stay in contact, if things work out then they work out, but to rush a proposal is not a sensible thing to do. 

Post # 9
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Based solely on your post, I would not trust his intentions. He said “He hinted at wanting to start over and be in a relationship again because I am “the love of his life.”

Three years is a long time and he should know by now if he wants you as his wife or not.  He just hinted of starting over and having a relationship. He did not say that he wants something more serious.

 

Post # 10
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jcol1984:  I agree with the other PPs.  I would not rush into this.  //

At this point, I would be so hurt to have spent 3.5 years and did not result in a proposal.  It shouldn’t take him losing you to realize that you were the love of his life.  I dated my ex for 2.5 years and it never dawned on him that we should get married.  And, once we broke up, he came back and asked me what he could do.  I debated about telling him that only a proposal would fix everything but would it?  Nope.  My Fiance knew 1 year in that I was “the one” and proposed as soon as he could.  You deserve a man with strong convictions. 

Post # 11
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I definitely agree with the other posters that you should take some time before getting back into the relationship.

However, noticed that your Ex is going to another country? If you’re contemplating uprooting your life to join him in this new country, I definitely would not join him unless there is a promise and a rock on the finger. Its too much of a commitment at this point and you’ve spent way too much time with him.

This need for a concrete engagement can be broached diplomatically. I did it with my own Fiance, he wanted to move cross coast and I told him i would not move with him unless I was  engaged. It was raised in a very non confrontational manner.

My boss told a story about when he was about to go to grad school, his then gf now wife got super grumpy..and then blurted out, don’t think im moving unless you propose. he was so surprised..he waited another 6 mths before proposing..so maybe that was not that diplomatic =p

But there are definitely stories of people who moved and got stranded. I know a girl that moved from NY to Texas for her bf, and then he broke up with her. There’s even a story about a guy that moved for his girl..then she broke up with him. He called my boss crying wanted to go back to NYC…he did not get the transfer unfortunately.

So at this pt if he is serious, he should make a concrete commitment. However whether you want him is something you should think about for yourself.

 

Post # 12
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you would let him go over not getting proposed to, maybe he isn’t the one for you. If he is the love of your life as you are to him, why do you need a ring or a label? If I were you I’d explain why I was hurt for not being proposed to and how taking your relationship to the next level was something you really wanted/want without giving an ultimatum. You should solve the issues that make you feel unappreciated (it must be deeper than just not being proposed to or I imagine it wouldn’t have led to that?). Maybe you feel a lack of appreciation because the focus was so much on him and you gave up so much, and you want the focus on you for a while?
I would let it happen when he’s comfortable. Why push him and force him to do something he’s not ready for?

Post # 14
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hell to the no i would not! I had a rocky relationship with my ex and everytime i dumped him, he’d come crawling back begging for me and promising me we would get engaged and talking all sorts of bull shit about how he wanted to marry me, etc.  It never ever worked out.  After riding the cycle a few times, I decided to step off the rollercoaster for good. Best. Decision. EVER! Exes are exes for a reason! 

Post # 15
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nope, exes are exes for a reason.

Post # 16
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My ex proposed to me after we broke up after being together for over 2 years. We broke up because even though he was older, he was very immature and expected me to provide and him not contribute, and I wasn’t cool with that. Also, we had discussed getting engaged and the timeline, and after the first deadline passed…then the second…the third…I was done.

A few weeks a later he called me and proposed, and told me that he had had the ring of my dreams the whole time. He sent me a picture of it, and I was livid.

I still said no.

A few weeks later he said, “Well, if you don’t find anyone by the end of 2013, and I’m still single, we should get married.”

I told him to never call me again. Like someone said, exes are exes for a reason.

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