(Closed) If your former best friend started dating your ex..

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee

Thoughts:

 

When I was in highschool, we actually have an “understanding” in my own clique that dating each others’ exes is a big No-No.  Not because we think that’s gross, but we realize that falling in love is not completely uncontrollable.  I find that if I know someone is my friend’s ex, that’s enough incentive for me to emotionally distant myself.  RE: FRIENDZONED

 

Opinion:

Not knowing the backstory to this, I guess my opinion is that if you don’t want her as a friend, then don’t let her be your friend.  Instead of avoiding her, it might be best to talk to her yourself and say it to her face.  It saves her the time to call, it saves your energy, and it eliminates unnecessary drama that you bring to your parent’s door.

With regards to her dating your ex, that’s your own philosophy.  If it’s gross to you, then you have the right to be grossed out by it.  For me, I would be uncomfortable, but if I haven’t dated this EX since highschool then I would really not care. 

Post # 3
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee

You said she said some things that you can’t forgive her for so I guess it doesn’t matter anyway but I think she is two-faced.

Post # 4
Member
4527 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Meh, I would laugh at her for wanting sloppy seconds 😛

 

Post # 5
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Well you were not talking to each other because you were mad so technically you were not friends at the time. Anyways still gross that she would do that. I would be very uncomfortable dating and sleeping with a man that my friend has been with. Oh well not your friend anymore right? So who cares….. it’s all in the past.

i actually have a friend that is like this. It’s kinda gross her slut bf slept with many women pkus her cousin at one point and then they dated anyways. There is way more to the story but still i listened to this man talk about how amazing the cousins boobs were and now he is with my friend. The cousin is a total whore. I guess it’s always good to keep it in the family. To each their own right? 

Laugh it off girl. Thinking about that stuff just makes me laugh.

Post # 6
Member
9026 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Post # 7
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee

If she really wanted you back as a friend she wouldn’t risk hurting your feelings sleeping with your ex. 

Post # 8
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Asphalt.Angel:  If a friend is a former friend, it’s for a reason… and if she started dating my ex, she would still be a former friend 🙂

It doesn’t sound like you want her friendship back.. just tell her 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee

Imo, I think it matters how long you date the ex. You said you’ve slept with him so I’m guessing it was serious. If it was like a month fling, then no I don’t really see a problem with it since chances are you guys didn’t really like each other. If you were really serious with him and had an awful break up, then he definitely should have been off the table to her. I think that this friend doesn’t really sound like a friend and either way you should just let the friendship sink and move on.

Post # 10
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

My first thought is: Who cares?

You don’t want to be friends with this girl, you presumably don’t want to get back with your ex, so who cares if they date? Does it really effect you at all? Why let it?

Personally if I had a friend who made such poor decisions to want to get with my ex then I feel sorry for her, but I don’t really care who my exes date or who wants to date them.

Post # 11
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Local Resort

Asphalt.Angel:  she is a dog. Tell mom to tell her to stop texting you. 

Post # 12
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldn’t care if someone dated my ex unless it meant this friend was bringing my ex into the same social circle. I’m not offended by the notion of them having sex or a relationship, but neither do I want to have to see my ex all the time in social situations.

A much bigger issue for me is that you say she said ‘unforgivable’ things to you. It’s hard to judge without knowing what was said to you, but I understand not being overly specific about it on a public message board- I assume it went well beyond typical heat-of-the-moment anger….ie if someone called me an unreasonable bitch or something during an argument, I’m sure I’d get over it, but if someone said something really low or cruel to me it’s not just that you can’t un-hear something like that, but it would make me question this nasty side to her character that revealed itself. So if what she said was unforgivably bad, this friendship may be damaged beyond repair by it.

Also, it’s your decision whether you try to work things out with her or not- she needs to stop pestering your mom about it.

Post # 13
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee

I’m a firm believer that things become broken for a reason: this includes Friendships. Forgive her and move on with life, but not with the “friendship”. That chapter is closed 

Post # 14
Member
9089 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You straight up said you can’t forgive her, so why does it matter what any of us think? You won’t put this away either way. IMO, it’s two people who are in my past. If I have no desire to have any contact with them, it doesn’t matter what I do. If I am still actively friends with someone, yeah, don’t date my exes, that’s kind of screwed up. But if I’m not friends with either of them, then who cares?

Post # 15
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Asphalt.Angel:  She said horrible things to you and then dated your ex. I would tell my mom to stop answering calls and never speak to the girl again.

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