(Closed) If your friends saw your FI/SO cheating…???

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you want your friends to tell you?
    Yes: absolutely : (53 votes)
    80 %
    No: I would find out eventually : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Maybe: Depends on how close the friend was : (9 votes)
    14 %
    I dont know : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4528 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would want them to tell me they needed help burying his body

    Post # 4
    Member
    9956 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I VOTED – YES ABSOLUTELY

    You aren’t a GOOD FRIEND (true friend to me) IF you have this info and keep it from me.

    IF I found out later on… down the road… THAT PERSON would be in bigger sh!t than my man.

    In that…

    He’d be gone… and so would they.

    He might be able to “become my friend” again at some point

    (realizing that our relationship didn’t work out)

    BUT the friend, would NEVER be my friend again ever.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    i would most DEFINITELY want to know. i would be so insulted and even more hurt if someone knew but didn’t tell me. i expect my friends and my family to have my back and look after me as i do them. would it be a hard/awkward conversation? absolutely. but i think it’s worse NOT saying something than saying something.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I would want to know. And as my friend, I would expect them to tell me!

    It’s different if its someone that is simply an acquaintance or a stranger I would not expect them to say anything to me.

    But I feel that a friend/relative should let you know the truth.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I couldn’t imagine a true friend would keep that to themselves. If I found out that they knew SO cheated on me and watched us get married (or just be together), I could never talk to them again.

    A relationship is serious, and not a game.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2550 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would want to know if they actually saw it happening A KISS OR SEX, not if they saw flirting/something that seems inappropiate/hugging/something that looks like kissing.

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2573 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Um, yeah, I would definitely want to know. Even if I wasn’t too responsive and dismissive when first hearing the news, I would eventually come around and place an even higher value on you as a friend for telling me something I didn’t want to hear. I think many friends are afraid to tell their friends that their FI/DH/SO is cheating on them b/c the cheated on friend tends to see things with rose-colored glasses and wouldn’t want to believe it. Hence, if a friend tells you what your boo has been up to – believe her/him and don’t shoot the messenger. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7872 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @TexasSpringBride:  “Why do so many here on weddingbee tell others to mind their own business, stay  out of it, your friend will hate you for telling them you saw their SO/FI  cheating.”

    I can’t speak for others, but I always advocate telling if the person being cheated on is your friend. That’s what friends do, they look out for one another.

    Where it gets trickier (and where I sometimes say “don’t tell”) is if the bee doesn’t really know the person being cheated on, and/or only knows the cheater. In the most recent example on Weddingbee, the cheater was the Bee’s fiance’s best friend (and Best Man). I still voted tell, though I’ve no idea how she could go about it. But only because she sort of knew the girl being cheated on. But usually, if you don’t know the person being cheated on, it’s better to stay out of it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3645 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Lots of people vote not to tell because they say that the messanger will not be believed and will be a target for anger.

    – I personally say that this is bullshit. You should do that right thing (what you would like done to you, if it was your SO) and be the bigger person. If it ends the friendship then it wasn’t a frienship worth having.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3248 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @TexasSpringBride:  I totally agree with you. I would absolutely want them to intervene in the bad behavior, and to tell me!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would be FURIOUS if they knew he was cheating and they didn’t tell me. In fact, if I saw one of my friends’ boyfriend/fiance/husband cheating, I’d take a pic as evidence and/or go over and slap them for betraying one of my girls.

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