(Closed) If your husband allowed you to have sex with other men, would you?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: If your husband remained faithful but allowed YOU to have sex with other men, would you?

    Yes

    No

    Maybe

  • Post # 17
    Member
    11736 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No I’m glad I don’t have to have awkward and not that great first time sex with anyone ever again!

    Post # 18
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Heck no!!!!! I wouldn’t want my SO to sleep with other women so there is no way in hell I would sleep with other men.. even if he said it was ok! 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    HEEELLLLL NO!!!!! to me sex is sacred.. and its for my husband.. i dont care if he “okayed” it or not… 

    To me its still being unfaithful…

    Post # 20
    Member
    1845 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’ve heard of this happening before actually. I can’t remember where I read it, but it was something about the husband got paralyzed or injured or something, and was rendered impotent and I believe he was in a wheelchair. So I think the bottom line was, he allowed his wife to have other sexual partners, but there was some kind of stipulations/rules or something, I can’t remember the exact details. 

    The idea is too bizarre to even think about, not to mention far fetched, to even warrant an answer for me.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2285 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Another woman, yes. A man, nope.

    Post # 22
    Member
    996 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    NO. No. NOOOO.

    Post # 23
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No, and the biggest reason for the simplest of reasons.  There are STD/STIs you can get even with condoms and I can’t imagine telling DH “Sorry, but I’ve got X, you should get checked.”  And I can’t take hormonal BC so even tho I’m 21 years kid free on condoms, what if?  You know…?  I can’t imagine how that would play out except on a talk show or reality TV.

    Aside from my logical side popping up front and center :), we’re a team… not free agents.  Not that we aren’t our own people and do what we want most of the time (and when we don’t do what we want but what the other does it’s still because we want to because it matters to them and we care… not that we’re pressured or anything)… but I *personally* don’t want to have to consider either of us having date nights with others when making plans lol.

    I can 100% see where having sex with others would be loads of fun… but our “you and me against the world” dynamic would be wrecked by “you, me, and whoever is hot or fun” :).  I know that is simplified.  But I’m one of those women who can easily have sex for sex sake, so that’s how I see it… I’ve made a choice not to for the safety and happiness of both of us and I’m really happy with it.

    That doesn’t mean I think anything two (or more!) consenting adults do is wrong!  Just not right for me and us and DH agrees.  Whatever you choose that’s all that really matters, that the two are on the same page.  I had my share of single fun, and yes, there were risks… but they weren’t shared with someone I love and want to spend forever with… to me it changes things somehow.

    Post # 24
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee

    I actually had a friend who had an arrangement like this and it ended very badly.  She was allowed to have sex with other men but her fiance remained faithful to her.

    It didn’t take long before she was overwhelmed with guilt.  Ironically, she became insanely jealous because she was afraid her fiance would want to have sex with other women.  

    He ended up dumping her.  It’s been two years and she still can’t get over him – Still contacts him on a regular basis hoping she can convince him to give her another chance.

    It’s really sad.

    Post # 25
    Member
    9126 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    No.  Ew.  We had an open relationship for a couple years while we were young and on opposite coasts.  But no way I’d go through the hassle of sleeping with some random person these days….

    Post # 26
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Adultery is definitely not my cup of tea.

    Post # 27
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Never. If you (not OP you, just in general you) want to sleep w/ someone besides your DH/FI/SO so badly that you would act on it with their “OK,” please think about your current relationship and whether you both are truly fulfilled. :/ 

    Post # 28
    Member
    7582 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    40% of woman said yes. I bet a lot of the woman that said yes. weren’t engaged or recently married like the majority of woman on the bee. They have probably been married for a longer period of time and therefore may have a different answer. 

    I could imagine wanting to sleep with another man, and if my husband was open to it, and we had that understanding then perhaps it would be easier to do.  

    I certainly would sleep with Jason Witten if my hubby said go for it lol

    Post # 29
    Member
    1782 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    No, I love my babe so much. I couldn’t do that to him or my conscience.

    Post # 30
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Please don’t flame or lecture me, I’m just being honest here.

    We’re open to the possibility of swinging. My fiance wants me to have sex with other men while he watches. Same with other women. We haven’t done it yet, but it’s in open discussion. A line will be drawn though- stuff will only happen while both partners are in the same room, nothing behind anybody’s back.

    Post # 31
    Member
    11392 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    No. Just no. 

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