Post # 1
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
So I want to ask everyone their opinion on something. If you weren’t invited to a wedding that has 200+ people or 250+ people, does it mean the bride or groom doesn’t consider you their friend. I know in some weddings people don’t invite their close friends due to budget, space, exc but if space and budget wasn’t an issue and you weren’t invited to a wedding, does it mean that the bride, groom or both of them don’t consider you a close friend?
Post # 2
Member
2911 posts
Sugar bee
Ap2010: no. It just means you weren’t on their guest list.
I know someone who had a 300 person wedding. She and her FI got to add 10 total friends to the list — the rest were family, family friends and work associates.
So, it’s possible that you are their friend but they still have constraints to deal with.
Post # 3
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
Ap2010: We have 208 on the guest list. There are still people I wish we could have invited, people I consider friends. But with 2 large families and a budget to be mindful of, we had to draw the line at some point. We made sure that we could afford to host everyone we invited, should by some miracle they could all attend.
Post # 4
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
No. Maybe they both have big families or maybe their parents are helping to pay for the wedding and have commandeered the guest list. Either way, while it’s okay to be disappointed, I would not let this ruin or end the friendship. Managing a guest list is really difficult and you don’t know what went into it. As long as your friends continue to treat you well and want to hang out with you, they’re still your friends. Don’t take the non-invite personally.
Post # 5
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
bitsybee: I know they would still consider me their friend but would they consider me a close friend is what I’m asking?
Post # 6
Member
45631 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Ap2010: does it mean that the bride, groom or both of them don’t consider you a close friend?
No. No one except the couple and the couples’ parents know how they decided on the guestlist. The couple may not have been allotted many spaces on the guestlist if they have large families, or their parents wanted to invite a lot of friends.
Post # 7
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
If you have to question whether or not your someone’s close friend purely based on a wedding guest list, then you’re probably not all that close in the first place.
Post # 9
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
beeanonymous123: just so you know, I’m not the wedding in the park girl.
Post # 11
Member
6905 posts
Busy Beekeeper
It could mean they don’t consider you close. It could mean their families are too big and their venue is too small. Really only the couple knows why certain guest lists cuts were made. I do not recommend that you ask. I recommend you accept it graciously.
Post # 12
Member
4041 posts
Honey bee
Post # 13
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
Horseradish: you have a point about venue, big families and cost. I was just asking about if the wedding was over 250 people non intimite.
Post # 14
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
Ap2010: the title of your thread jumped out at me – I think you’ve written a few threads about maintaining friendships with people who dont reciprocate. Based on your other posts (regarding using Facebook likes to interpret friendship levels, etc.), my guess is that they don’t consider you to be a close friend. You can tell that someone’s a close friend if they actively try to spend time with you and be a part of your life. People sometimes have to cut more acquaintance-like friends from that large, which I wouldn’t take personally – you can’t invite everyone you know, even if you like them. Again, you can tell based on the effort they put in. If it ends up being too one-sided, you can end up chasing people away.
Even if your not the wedding in the park girl, I remember that some excellent advice was given to that poster that probably would apply here (I.e., let it go, don’t chase people & find people who want to spend time with you). The other girl was lucky she didn’t get arrested.
Post # 15
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Could be they don’t consider you a close friend or could be constraints with the list. Agree with PP that if you need to go by a guest list to determine if you’re a close friend, then most likely you aren’t.
Post # 16
Member
8741 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
The truly appropriate thing to do is to make the guest list of people who are close enough to merit an invitation, consider the budget, and then plan accordingly, not the other way around.
Post # 17
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
4littlekitties: thank you for being non judge mental. I will say that I have a minor disability aka Tourette’s sydrome and adhd and ocd and I have bad social cues and socially akward even though I love people And love to socialize. I’m in therepy working on my issues. I’m getting better but have a ways to go.
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