(Closed) if your parents contributed more than $5K to your wedding ….

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 4
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My parents are contributing 20K and we are responsible for any places where we go over that amount. My father is retired from a job in business and is now a college professor, and my mother is a nursery school teacher. They have savings that they put aside for my wedding, and when I asked for it for graduate school they said no, it was for my wedding.

Post # 5
Member
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m a MOB, and we gave each of our daughters(2) , ($20,000.+) to use for their weddings. We took it from savings that was not specifically for their weddings, and both were in the same year.

 

My husband works in historical restoration and I was a dental hygienist.

 

Post # 6
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My parents are contributing around $18K. Theyre an average blue collar family. My mom is a stay at home mom (now grandma to my brothers daughter).  My dad has worked at the same company for 35 years & worked his way up to the top. I’m super proud of the life they created for myself and my brother. They have been married for almost 41 years which is quite the accomplishment too. My fiancé and I are contributing around 8-10K. My fiances family is paying for the rehearsal (5K) and alcohol for the wedding ($1200). 

Post # 7
Member
7220 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Stace126:  Wow, looks like bees have some generous parents! My parents are giving $10k and his parents together (they are divorced) are giving $10k. My mom is is a secretary for the city my parents live in and my dad is the chief financial something or other for a college. His dad own his own plumbing business and his mom is a legal secretary. My parents actually mentioned $10k minimum as they said they have been putting money aside specifically for the wedding for awhile now so we’ll see what happens!

Post # 8
Member
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My parents are contributing to our wedding (we are basically splitting expenses of our 30k wedding). Fiance and I live in a super expensive wedding area, hence the crazy huge cost of the wedding. My parents live in a VERY inexpensive area, and are extremely good with their money (big savers, but not stingy). My dad is an engineer and my mom is a school teacher. I would not call them wealthy but they are not struggling, either. They built their house when they got married and paid it off like 5 years ago so there is no mortgage payment. Their cars are also paid off (they keep cars for a long time). I am the only daughter, and the money is coming from their savings. Fiance and I had an almost 2 year engagement so we could save up for the wedding, so no one will be in any debt from it.

Edit: FI’s family is a different story. His mother died of cancer when she was about 35, and FIs dad has a rare disease that causes him to have dialysis and not work. He raised his 4 kids off of disability checks, alone. Somehow he still gave us 5k toward the wedding, which is extremely generous and unexpected! It was largely from tax returns.

Post # 10
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think it’s about how ppl are good at saving, not necessarily what they do.

Post # 11
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My parents are essentially paying for the majority of the wedding. We’ll spend around $4000 of our own money, FI’s family has given us $2000 and my parents are paying for the reception ($18,000) as well as the decor, music and flowers (probably another $2000-3000). We were going to just get married at city hall and have dinner with immediate family because we both struggled with job loss/unemployment after our engagement but my parents wanted a traditional wedding so they stepped up to cover the cost on something they thought was important.

My mom is semi-retired (still works as a Mary Kay director) and my Dad makes a very good living in the banking industry. I don’t think they specifically saved for this occasion but they had lots of investments and money put away for retirement and I think my Dad is just planning to work an additional year to earn this money back. They initially offered $5000 when I had a good job but when I lost that and wasn’t able to replace it (I’m working 3 jobs now and making 1/3 of what I used to) and was going to cancel it altogether, they stepped up to give us a beautiful day.

I deal with regular pangs of guilt knowing how much money this is all costing but I am very grateful that our families are able to help us as I know not everyone is so lucky.

Post # 12
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m honestly not sure exactly how much my parents spent because my mom refused to give me an exact dollar amount or set a specific budget, pretty much just telling me to keep it reasonable – they offered to pay for my dress and the venue, including food/alcohol. So basically I just drove myself crazy finding the absolute cheapest venue that still had the elements that were important to me and was formal enough for my parent’s liking, since they did specifically say they wanted it to be nice and to not just choose the cheapest thing because I felt bad that they were paying. I ended up finding a great spot – a local city was building a nearby community center in the middle of a gorgeous park. And instead of being your typical community center it had a stone exterior with fountains, and a large ballroom for events that had chandeliers and floor-to-ceiling windows facing the wooded area outside – but it was still pretty cheap because, hey, it’s a community center! I was pretty pleased with myself on that one. 

 

She did give me a more specific number on the dress, she said she figures prices have about tripled since she got married in the 80s and her dress was $350, so she was comfortable spending about 1k but if I loved something that was a bit more we’d see…and the dress I fell in love with happened to be $999, so that was pretty perfect!

 

I did feel a bit guilty towards the beginning, but a little less so once we talked about it a few times and they made it clear that they really wanted it to be a nice event they could invite the extended family too, that I’m their only daughter and they knew I was being price-conscious and that it wasn’t going to cause them to struggle financially and they really didn’t want me to feel bad about it. So I got over it. They never had any savings specifically for it, but they have savings and do okay – my mom is a vice principal at an elementary school and my dad manages a pharmacy store.

Post # 13
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So im prob gonna be the only person to admit this but my parents paid for our entire wedding. The total cost was approximately $95 k. I know that sounds like an unbelievable amount to spend on a wedding but my parents wanted to pay for it. A huge factor that made it so expensive was because we got married in downtown chicago and there were close to 300 guests at the reception. They also paid for my older sisters wedding in 2008. They could afford it and so they wanted to pay for it. There is no way we could have afforded 1/4 of that on our own, i teach in a Catholic school. My dad owns his own company and my parents are very well off. Darling Husband parents are even more well off than mine. They threw us a rehearsal dinner with over 100 guests! Which was basically like a wedding in itself. We are so very lucky and blessed to have such hard working and generous parents to be able to pay for such a special day in our lives. I do not take for granted how much they contributed to our wedding day. 

Post # 14
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We received $5000 from each set of parents, so $10, 000 total. Both my parents are retired PhDs, and my in-laws are a factory worker and a manager at a bank’s marketing dept. I think all our parents were really excited for us, already had the savings, and wanted to have a bit of a stake in our day (plus the ability to invite some of their own guests, which we welcomed). We were also glad to keep things even from both sides.

 

Darling Husband and I paid for the additional $5k for the wedding and $3k for the honeymoon. We could have had a wedding for $10,000, but we wanted a bit more of a lavish affair and were able to afford it thanks to our parents and our own savings and income.

Post # 15
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@lalalalauren:  You’re parents are lucky to have such grateful children!

Post # 16
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

my parents gave 25 thousand pounds, from an account specifically set up for thr wedding when j was young

My mum was a partner in a law firm but is now a vicar. My dad is a scientist and does research at a university

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