(Closed) If your SO has given a timeline of X month, how long will you stay silent?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would be patient and let him do what he’s going to do.  Maybe to us it seems like he has so many opportunities to propose, but maybe he hasn’t found that just right time.  Also, things can come up.  Trust him, and he will fall more in love with you, knowing you trust his word, and it will give him confidence to fulfill what he said he will do.

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m not sure. After a few months of waiting I realized  even though my husband was 27 no idea what to do or how to do it. He really didn’t have anyone to talk to about it either.

 I sat down with him one night and showed him several rings we could order online (we used ebay- we were in college and financially supporting ourselves, but luxuries weren’t in the budget). He told me what he liked. After he said, “I really like this..” I asked him if he wanted to place a bid and we did it together. When the ring came we picked it up at the post office (together) and he gave it to me in the car. Was it a magical suprise proposal? No, but we’ve always made decisions together.

  The other day I asked my husband why he didn’t propose on his own and he said he didn’t know how to go about it and the task of finding a ring was daunting- doing it together took all the pressure off.

Post # 5
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree with August 1.  Trust his timeline and let him surprise you.  When you feel like you’ll explode, come here!

Post # 6
Member
3304 posts
Sugar bee

Definitely wait- it is hard I know- but you have a timeline…. give him the opportunity to make you very happy (or make you disappointed). You do not want to be the reason why the proposal is delayed.

Post # 7
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I too would wait until August and maybe even a little bit longer to give him more time in the off chance something went awry with his plans. I know someone who had to propose to his Fiance later than expected because he didn’t anticipate the jeweler taking so long to size and clean the ring he bought.

Also, he most likely wants to surprise you – so he’s not going to consciously show any signs of his proposal plans.

Post # 8
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

begining of May i would open my dam mouth !

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well I have a timeline of the summer too and I talk about wedding stuff all the time Embarassed  No pressure about the engagement though; I’ve tried not to talk about that.  He will definitely be hearing from me on September 1 if there is no bling on the finger though!

Post # 10
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

I would wait until August or even September if you can make it. Stuff happens and things come which could honestly cause a delay. Then the guy might just be too embarrassed to say anything.

At that time I would probably gently nudge him a bit to see what’s up.

Until then though, keep it in! You can do it!

Post # 11
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

August 1!!!!  I just checked, it’s a Monday– he could propose the last weekend in July…his ‘deadline’ is July 31st!  Keep up the good work in not mentioning it!  Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Post # 13
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

@Shirinjoon: 

Yes, meeting the parents would have to happen at the latest July in order for that to take place before the engagement.

As far as a delay. I’m not sure what could possibly delay a guy in proposing, but I just tend to like to give people the benefit of the doubt and a little extra “room” so to speak to move in their own way. If that is not how your relationship is or how you are as a person or if it’s getting to the point where he is just filibustering, then I echo the others when I say August 1st.

Post # 14
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

I guess I’m not a good example, as I kind of have a similar timeline, but it’s definitely  not a set one. I had to bring it up last night. Embarassed I wish I had a more set one, because it would help. I would say try your best and maybe bring it up around May if you haven’t met eachother’s families and try to coordinate that? After the families meet, I would try to wait until summer’s over (if you can). Hang in there!

Post # 15
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t keep silent. Too impossible! If its on my mind, SO will hear about it from me. I say, everything in moderation. I tell SO how much I love him and can’t wait to marry him, can’t wait to do this or that with him. We keep our dialog open. 

Post # 16
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh right – I remember now that you said in another post that your families have to meet before he proposes. In that case, I would wait until May like jennab503 said and talk to him about making plans for your families to meet. I would try to only focus on your families meeting though and hold back on saying anything about the actual proposal until Aug-Sept. In the meantime, don’t worry – your time will come! Smile

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