(Closed) If you’re invited as a couple…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re still unmarried, so I think you are fine giving less.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Depends on how close I am to the couple doing the inviting. I usually give a gift to reflect my own presence. If we’re really close to the couple I just give as much as I feel comfortable with.

Post # 5
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I gift the same regardless if I’m a +1 or not.  It’s more about my relationship to the couple and what I can afford to give.

Post # 6
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I almost always give less if I go solo.  When you go as a couple you are costing the bride and groom double than if I went alone so I put more money in to cover their cost (food / drink etc…).  I’m not trying to cover a plate but I do realize that they are putting more out for two people vs.  one and that is reflected in my gift.

Post # 8
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

If you were invited as a couple but RSVPed for 1, I think you should give what you feel comfortable with for just one person.. I would give about 100$ or buy a gift for that amount! If I were going with fI, it would be double that. 

Post # 9
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d give what I could.

I make a lot less so if it’s MY side, I’d give quite a bit less becasue I can’t afford it but if he went with or without me he’d give the same amount.

Post # 10
Member
46406 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always buy a gift so that doesn’t change whether I attend with or without my SO. The value of the gifty is based on my relationship to the couple, not the meal they chose to cater.

Post # 11
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Give what you want to and can afford, regardless. For some people, they can afford more if they go in together on a gift. For some it makes no difference. 

Post # 12
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m w/ oracle my gifts are given based on how well I know the couple, regardless if it is just me or my +1.

Post # 13
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

For me, it honestly depends on how close I am to the couple, and how much money we have at the time. 

As a single person, I typically give around $25-$50, depending on how we’ll I know the person. As a couple, we typically give around $50-100, but if we’re giving you $100, we have to be VERY close to you. 

This will likely change once we’re out of school, but right now even $50 is a lot of money for us, so we have to really like a person to give them more. 

Post # 14
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It depends on how close I am to the person and what I can afford what I give, whether it is just myself or with a +1.

Post # 15
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The intent is that the *gift* is from both of you, regardless if both of you can make it.

If it was just you that was invited and the gift is only from you, then you can decide how much to give.

Gifts should not be based on how much the bride and groom are paying to have you there. Just because they are only paying for one person to be there doesn’t mean you have to “reimburse” them less. The gift is made regardless of whether or not both of you go to the actual wedding.

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