Post # 1
My boyfriend 28 and I 30 have been together for about three and a half years and all in all our relationship has been wonderful . Sure, there have been some disagreements but it’s not unusual. We have a lot of similar interests and do a lot of things together. The only annoying thing is that he still isn’t sure if I’m the one. It’s sometimes a bit exhausting.
Anyway, during the last three months I have trying to talk to him about our future and he feels that i’m putting pressure on him. I’m not coming across as needy, but I don’t think asking for any kind of timeline or assurance that it’s in the cards is too much to ask.
He said, that why do you even want to marry me? If it’s about you wanting to fulfill your fairytale then keeps bringing it up isn’t gonna get you the ring anytime soon. I’m all for being supportive being emotionally supportive is absolutely fine, being financially supportive can backfire and I don’t want that type of committment anyway and don’t feel offensive but marriage these days is nothing but relationship insurance for women. Nothing against you but I have a house and some good investments and I just cannot risk getting married unless I’m 100% convinced.
I said soon, it’s been three years. How long do I have to wait for you to make your mind. He said, that I don’t want you to keep waiting but if you’re not happy then maybe it’s time to address things from a different perspective. Just because you want to get married doesn’t mean that I have to do it, especially when I don’t really want it and urging girlfriend is not something I find attractive.
I am not against marriage, I’m just looking out for my best interests and the only thing I’m doing is being very cautious before signing that contract, but if I’m not sure that you are marriage material then it’s wise to tread lightly and franky you should think twice before why are you so insistent on marrying me?
I don’t know what making him so unsure, we had a good thing going and now this.
Post # 2
exis001 : He said he doesn’t think you are marriage material, why the hell would you still want to marry him after that?!
Also he has a very low opinion of women.
but marriage these days is nothing but relationship insurance for women
Post # 3
He doesnt want to marry you and he isnt going to come around any time soon either. He told you that you are not marraige material. The past few years have been good because you were in a relationship that didnt require a future. Because you are looking for a future things have changed. Its not what he wants. Your best bet is to leave and find someone else. He sounds like a tool anyways (no offense).
Post # 4
End it and find someone who actually WANTS to get married.
He sounds like real prince.
Post # 5
If he said that, I’d be, “sure, let’s end things. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy too too but I don’t want you to not be happy just for my sake” just to see his reaction and call his bluff. I don’t want to be beg men to be with me anyway. The right one should want to be with you.
To answer your question, I would be out, he is very clear he doesn’t want to get married.
Post # 6
He sure thinks he’s the grand prize eh?
I know this must be hard to hear, but at least he isn’t beating around the bush or giving you false promises. This man does not believe you are worthy of his hand in marriage. He is not sure you’re good enough.
You are good enough though. So dump his ass and go find someone who values you.
Post # 7
He doesn’t want to marry you.
He told you.
Not only did he tell you he doesn’t want to marry you, but he did it in a condescending way that belittles you, your beliefs, and your relationship and then gaslighted you into making you be the one to have to end it so he has zero culpability in this. Even if you were otherwise previously content, why would you stick around for more of this? I wouldn’t. I don’t have time for immature blowhards.
Post # 8
exis001 : What he said must have been painful to hear.
How he said it is revealing of his character – and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture.
Please think carefully before waiting any longer for this condescending egomaniac to check out the entire female popluation before deciding you might be ok after all. Sorry if that is harsh but I dated someone just like that years ago – and felt SO much better about myself when I finally saw him for what he was and dumped him.
Post # 9
He is not marriage material, even if he wanted to get married. I pity the woman he does marry.
Run, bee. Run.
Post # 10
exis001 : It sounds like he doesn’t trust you with money.
Post # 11
zzar45 : “He has a very low opinion of women….Charming”
mama2bee71 : “He told you that you are not marriage material….He sounds like a tool anyways”
arosebyanyothername : “He sounds like a real prince”
lleello : “I don’t want to be beg men to be with me anyway. The right one should want to be with you.”
tiffanybruiser : “He sure thinks he’s the grand prize eh?….This man does not believe you are worthy of his hand in marriage. He is not sure you’re good enough.You are good enough though. So dump his ass and go find someone who values you.”
annabananabee : “Not only did he tell you he doesn’t want to marry you, but he did it in a condescending way that belittles you, your beliefs, and your relationship and then gaslighted you into making you be the one to have to end it so he has zero culpability in this”
Astra : “How he said it is revealing of his character – and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture. …Please think carefully before waiting any longer for this condescending egomaniac to check out the entire female popluation before deciding you might be ok after all. “
+1 to all of the above. This guy is disgusting, his opinion of himself is as high as his opinion of women is low, he doesn’t sound like a good boyfriend nevermind potential life partner material. Scrape this POS from the bottom of your shoe, he’s not worth another minute of your time.
Post # 12
It sounds like maybe he makes more money than you? And that’s not a problem, for most people. However, a relationship with him is not going to lead to marriage. Because he thinks money is more than important than relationships. If I were you, I would just break up with him and find someone else.
Post # 13
He sounds arrogant AF. And its definitely misplaced. You deserve far, far far better.
Post # 14
Ew, drop him immediately. You can most definitely find someone more compatible, more loving and more respectful of you.
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
He doesn’t want to marry you, which is a good thing, because he’s a dud. Run for the hills bee.