(Closed) If you’re not planning to have kids right away…

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009 - University of Michigan Union

We are lucky, people haven’t really brought it up yet! My Future Mother-In-Law asked Mr. T about it on father’s day, but that’s about it. I should start thinking up something for when people start to ask though…

Post # 4
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

My parents are already bugging us about it…and we’re not even married yet! I really haven’t thought about how to handle it with other people. I usually just tell people that our goal is for me to be pregnant by the time I’m 30. I’m 26 right now and am a working professional so that usually seems to make sense to people.

Post # 5
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I would probably say "As soon as people stop asking us about it" and hope that shuts them up. I’m not married yet but have been told to expect this question. I know people usually aren’t intentionally being rude, they are probably just trying to make conversation and it does seem like an obvious question for newlyweds, but I still can’t imagine what makes them think my uterus or childbearing plans are any of their business.

Post # 6
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Ugh, we went to a work barbeque a couple weekends ago and heard this question 7 times!!!  I just told everyone it’s illegal for people our age to have children.  We’re only 24; stop with the questions already!

Post # 7
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

I explain, but most people don’t really ask us about it. They have, but I just say we want to wait until I finish school and want some time to be selfish together (maybe do some traveling and stuff). Since most people who have asked us have kids of their own, they totally understand. My sister is actually the one being annoying about it, but I think she thinks she’s being funny. We’re also both really young and have plenty of time. My family has two little kids running around yet (both 2. they were my flower girls) so i don’t think they’re dying for babies yet.

Post # 8
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I say "Could I have a puppy first?" LOL They just stare and blink.

Post # 9
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We’re not married yet but I have had people ask me when we think we’ll have kids, even Future Mother-In-Law, who knows our plans. I tell people we already have kids, our furry kids, and that’s enough for now. Then I tell them more seriously that I want to go to Graduate school and have some selfish time together before we start our family. Mr.Tal and I think that we’d like to go to Europe before we have kids, that might be an answer as well.

Post # 10
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

People ask all the time, but it doesn’t really bother me. We aren’t planning on having kids until I’m pushing the limits of old age infertility ;). Kids just aren’t in our current plan right now, but I don’t consider it a touchy subject, so I’m usually pretty open about just saying we’re not ready and I’d like to focus on work for a few years. Plus we love our condo (and uh… cant move in this economy anyway) and since it’s 1 bedroom, we don’t really have room for a kid. The subject will def. get more touchy if one of us starts wanting to have a kid and one doesnt, but for now we’re in the same boat, so I don’t mind fielding the questions!

Post # 11
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t decided how to respond to that question yet- I need to decide, or else I’ll probably respond in a shocking manner! SO and I do NOT want kids, EVER, and have made this abundantly clear to everyone we know. If I hear the question, it will be one of those *cocks head to side, eyes wide, cracks knuckles, unhinged jaws, leaps forward* deals hah

Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I read in a magazine the best response to this type of question: "Well, we want to try out all the different ways you can make a baby first, and that’s going to take a while!" Haha

Post # 13
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

i would like to start trying soon after we get married since i have been told i will have trouble concieving.  my Fiance wants to wait till he finishes grad school…or in 3 years or so. 

Post # 14
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Just tell them that you guys would like to have children in the future but right now you just want to enjoy the time you 2 have together. That is what I tell people when they ask me and my fiance and we aren’t married yet! I know that some people pressure newlyweds and that is so wrong…children are great but a lot of work. I don’t have any, and to be honest don’t think my fiance and I will have children for at least 8-10 years. There are so many things we want to do before having children. But don’t worry about what other people think…this is your decision and no one else really should have an opinion on it 🙂

Post # 15
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Fiance and I don’t really like or want to have kids, but we get asked about it a lot.  When my mother asks, I just ignore it.  When nosy, pushy people ask about it, I just say "Oh, we hate kids."  They usually seem to get upset and offended, and will walk away.  I don’t mind doing that because I think they’re being rude by constantly asking and pushing.

Post # 16
Member
11 posts
Newbee

My Fiance and I get comments like this too. Jeeze, what is it with people? Can’t we just get married? I love Ms.Editor’s response, lol!

We’re not even sure at this point if we want kids, ever. Right now they’re not part of our immediate future plans. Usually we tell people we’re trying to get our priorities in order. House, Wedding, Financial Security, and then we’ll re-examine the children scenario. Usually that gets a nod of understanding from the more rational ones.

 

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