Post # 1
My first pregnancy ended last December with a missed miscarriage. I went in at 6 weeks because of spotting but the baby never even grew past 4 weeks. I opted for a natural miscarriage and my body didn’t end up releasing it until I was around 9 weeks. (which I think it making it worse bc it doesn’t reassure me if i’m not bleeding/cramping bc i never did last time save the spotting at 6 weeks)
Now, new pregnancy… I’ve had 3 perfect ultrasounds. The most recent was on Thursday at 11 weeks 3 days. It was amazing. Strong Heartbeat (that we got to hear AND see), great growth, movement … but I’m still terrified about having another miscarriage that I’ll have fleeting moments of excitement but mostly am afraid to even acknowledge it…which since I have no pregnancy symptoms it’s easy to ignore. Our parents/siblings keep bugging us about when we’re going to announce it, but I’m so afraid to make it public!
I know I’m letting the miscarriage steal the joy this time around, but fear can be a nasty friend.
So, to all you ladies that had to go through a loss…do you have any tips/advice on how you got excited the next time? Does the fear ever go away?
Post # 3
Congrats! The fear will ease up over time. For me it started going away in the 2nd trimester. I was excited But still a bit nervous when I had an ultrasound at almost 13weeks and it hit me that the chance of m/c had gone down tremendously. But what really put me in excited baby mode was when I felt her move for the first time. It just made everything so real. After that the fear just went away. I’m expecting again & was super nervous & fearful at the beginning & am just getting to that really excited point bc I’m starting to feel little twinges & know I’ll be feeling the baby soon. Good luck.
Post # 4
@AutumnMrs: congrats!! I had a missed miscarriage in Jan and I’m currently 12w3d pregnant. I’m still scared something will go wrong because we’ve only had 1 u/s at 6w since opted against the genetic testing, but we have heard the heartbeat since then. I started letting myself get excited after my 10w appt because we heard such a strong hb, but I’d be lying if the fear wasn’t still there. Seeing DH get excited now is what has really started making me excited. Good luck! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!
Post # 5
I completely understand how you feel. My first pregnancy never progressed & I miscarried naturally at 5+4 weeks. When I got my 2nd BFP I cried sad tears; the line was so faint. I was devestated by the idea of going through this again. It was only after I took my 2nd round of betas (7 weeks) that I finally started accepting this pregnancy. I still worry so much that I’ll miscarry/already have & don’t know it. I think once I hear a heartbeat at my 12 weeks midwife appointment I’ll finally be able to exhale. I hope that the 12-13 week mark can bring you some comfort!
Post # 6
I don’t have any tips but I just wanted to chime in to say that I’m dealing with similar feelings. Being pregnant after 3 miscarriages is really, really difficult and stressful. I have moments where I start to get excited and I have to tell myself to calm the heck down. I’ve done a LOT of praying and have been trying to enjoy every day with this pregnancy. I will be 10 weeks tomorrow and I have my second ultrasound on Tuesday. I’m trying so hard not to stress about it. Despite our previous losses, DH is already talking about when we can announce the pregnancy to friends and family. He wants to announce at 12 weeks but I’m thinking around 6 months…lol. Seriously though, I’m not eager to tell people but maybe after I see a healthy little baby on an ultrasound I’ll change my mind.
Post # 7
Thank you so much ladies. I’m really hoping that like most of you once I officially EXIT this dreaded 1’st trimester I’ll start to feel like it’s real.
haha I’m with you! If I had my way we’d announce at 20 weeks 😉
Post # 8
I feel the exact same way. I hit 12 weeks tomorrow and I feel like it’s a great milestone. But there will always be a tiny worry in the back of my mind. I just try to enjoy every day 🙂
Post # 9
I am so so sorry about your loss. I had a missed miscarriage last June at the end of 1st tri and this pregnancy has been so scary.
I went in for our first U/S..expecting the worst, praying for the best…and there was a HB.
At 11 weeks, my OB couldn’t find the HB, so sent me for an ultrasound. I was freaking. Baby was dead, right? Nope. Baby was perfect.
At 12.5 weeks we had our NT scan…baby HAS to have Downs Syndrome, right? No. There’s a 1:5000 chance now.
At 15w6d we had our gender scan. Baby has to have something wrong, right? Like one arm. No. Baby BOY looked perfect.
At 19w6d we had our anatomy scan. Baby HAS to have a heart defect or intestinal issue right? I read about it on google, on the bump, etc. Wrong. Baby looks perfect.
Then FINALLY. Finally. At 21 ish weeks, I FINALLY felt some movement. This has eased my worries a little. Now, I worry about preterm labor and having him too early…even though I know he would be just fine at 31.5 weeks.
I’m going to be honest. It’s been so hard to be excited. I fear the worst. But now it’s finally seeming more real. It just takes time 🙂
Post # 10
Motherhood = worrying. If it wasn’t this, it’d be something else. But, congrats!
Post # 11
@AutumnMrs: I”m pregnant now after 2 mc’s. It’s hard because you have experienced the worst that can happen. It’s easy to worry. I don’t know, for me it took a while to feel safe and trust my body once I was pregnant again, and I still get worried and I’m almost 27 weeks.
At 11 weeks you don’t have a lot of ‘proof’ yet besides the ultrasounds but it’s exciting that you are so close to 12 weeks! That was a big relief for me.
Also my DH rented us a doppler to hear the heartbeat at home for reassurance between doctors visits – it has been a huge source of relief for me for those moments I’m worried.
Post # 12
@AutumnMrs: I am so sorry you are going through this, but congratulations on your current pregnancy! I had a miscarriage in March and am now pregnant again (close to you in due date I think, I will be 11 weeks tomorrow). I completely understand the fear of letting yourself get excited. To be honest, I haven’t been as excited this time around. I want to be, but I have a hard time letting my mind go there just yet. It does get easier though with each passing milestone. Like others have mentioned, I am hoping to relax a bit more after making it out of the first trimester. Feel free to join us on the January 2014 babies board when you’re ready, we are a very chatty bunch and quite a few of the mommas on there have experienced prior miscarriages so it is a great support system.
Post # 13
Thank you so much to everyone who keeps replying. At least I know I’m not alone and crazy in feeling my apprehention. I officially hit 12 weeks yesterday and am just waiting for our appointment on the 11th to know for certain that we made it out of the first trimester in one piece!
Congratulations on your pregnancy as well. My due date is January 14. I’ve been stalking the January boards but have been too scared to join in 🙂