(Closed) If/when to talk to BF about stone/rings from my prior marriage

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: When/Should I bring up the old stone or my bands to my BF? (You can choose multiple)
    No need to mention that the rings I wear sometimes were bands used in my 1st wedding : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Tell him that the rings I wear sometimes were bands used in my 1st wedding : (7 votes)
    27 %
    Wait to tell him about old stone until he brings up erings himself : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Bring up old stone soon to see if he has an opinion on it (even if it's before he brings up ering) : (7 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1703 posts
    Bumble bee

    mercgen :  

    Sorry, I think it is weird to recycle stones from an ex-husband…

    I would also be looking sideways at any guy that was ok with giving his soon to be new wife a reset ring from her ex husband.

    Post # 3
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee

    Sell the rings/diamonds etc and use the money now while you need it. Let your new guy buy you a new set! He knows it’s coming, and it’s often a matter of pride. There’s NO WAY my husband would be ok with me wearing an ex’s ring! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee

    P.s. I didn’t vote because I don’t agree with any of it. Sell the rings and start fresh is my vote!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

    Nope, all the nopes to all these options! My ex and I had an amicable divorce and I still would not have considered using the stone he purchased even if I loved it. I can only imagine my Fiance reaction if I tried to explain something like this. You’re free to do what you wish of course but personally this would be weird for me and unacceptable to my Fiance. Pawn or sell.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3113 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    I have stones from my first marriage, I asked Darling Husband what I should do with them and he suggested I reset them into earrings. He’s totally cool with it, but part of that is likely becaust the diamonds aren’t worth much for resale, I tried. If I could get a good chunk of change for them I think that would have been his preference, but if I had wanted to keep them (I don’t care either way) he wouldn’t have been upset. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1703 posts
    Bumble bee

    mercgen :  

    Glad you came to your senses!! LOL

    You know you would be kicking yourself down the road if you went ahead with that plan!! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1352 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

    Glad you seem to have figured it out! I was going to post to say that I was in a very similar situation, except my ex kept the e-ring (no wedding band because we, thankfully, never got married). I’m hoping he sold it instead of using it for another woman, but I have no idea. Anyway, if I had kept the ring, I definitely would have sold it because I wouldn’t want something so significant from a previous relationship to carry into my new relationship.

    Both men wanted me to pick out my e-ring, and I have a very specific, simple style I like, so they look similar. Oh well. I’m really happy with my current e-ring and, more importantly, in my current relationship. 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1401 posts
    Bumble bee

    I saw your update above and completely agree! I will say that my boss recently got engaged, and they chose to use her previous engagement ring. She loved it and had all the matching jewelry to it, and it is a big hunk of rock. Lol. But they completely revamped it and added a halo and side bands to it. Besides the center asscher stone, it is unrecognizable from the first. Just another option for future bees that I have seen!

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