Post # 1
I was flicking throught the wedding bee archives and stumbled across Mrs. Rainbows post http://www.weddingbee.com/2010/03/08/ugh-but-do-we-have-to/ about all the drama that weddings bring between familys.
When I got engaged my mother talked to me about the importance of doing things OUR way, have the wedding WE want, because my grandmother basically planned hers and there were 110 people there and she had ONE table of guests.
HOWEVER, after booking my ideal ceremony venue and reception venue, writing my guest list and showing her it ( We want a small wedding) She is wanting me to invite my GREAT aunts and uncles! not mine, hers.
Now I have a HUGEEEEE family and Mr. Fossil doesnt.
Although its huge, they are spread all over the globe, so we aint that close.
SO WHY would I invite them to MY close and personal wedding.
Answer- I wont.
Through all the talks my mum has had with me about it, i have maintained the stance that THEY ARE NOT COMING.
A wedding should be you and you BESTEST friend getting married and celebrating with the nearest and dearest.
Not with some old biddies that you havnt seen in 15 years who lives in a different country and gets you and your sister mixed up (and believe me-we aint twins)
So Mrs Rainbow Has Inspired me to rethink what my decsisions are and who I am making them for. I AM SERIOUSLY WORRYING ABOUT THE COLOUR OF THE CARPET IN MY VENUE?
Im just not that girl…
Post # 3
If it’s going to cause a family war then maybe inviting them wouldn’t be the worst thing. If you are funding this wedding though, then adding a bunch of random relatives you never talk to can throw your budget outta whack. Sometimes you just have to say no.
Post # 4
Meh. I’m in the “heck no” camp too because I was that way. My mother wanted to invite her old co-workers and her cousins that I’ve never met and a bunch of people I didn’t know and I totally put my foot down. She was even paying and I said no.
In the end, she was alright with it. It was a bit of drama for a while, but she didn’t even miss them the day of. I think for the older generations, it’s more about showing off or being worried about offending some random family member than it is actual want for them to be there. (For my mom, it was definitely the former.)
Post # 5
Who is paying for your wedding?
Post # 7
If that is the case, you certainly are not required to ask those whom you do not wish to be there. However, I can understand your mother wanting to have her aunts there. Perhaps your mother would be willing to pay for these additional guests herself?
Post # 8
@Miss Fossil: Similar situation here (minus the pushing mom, kinda).
We’re paying for the wedding and have a huge (HUGE) family. We’re having a 250 guest event with 80% family (just aunts, uncles and cousins) and 20% CLOSEST friends. It’s our wedding and we had one rule: we have to know everyone attending the wedding.
I had a small laugh and a little heart attack when my parents attended a wedding a few months ago, who’s getting married? This friend of ours niece… Are you serious? you don’t even know here, what are you doing there? The uncle of the bride invited them!
Post # 9
Id just like to have people that are involved in our lives &
who have ACTUALLY met Mr. Fossil
Post # 10
@Miss Fossil: Id just like to have people that are involved in our lives & who have ACTUALLY met Mr. Fossil
THIS! My problem is that my parents are chipping in so I’m stuck even more. I told my mom the other day that I want to celebrate with people who I see regularly and know both of us. I shouldn’t be “meeting” people at my own wedding nor should I have to hear over and over again “OMG I remember you when you were THIS BIG!”
Yeah, hi, who are you?