(Closed) I'll give you a hint…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Haha I wasn’t too sneaky about it but we would get jewelry magazines in the mail and I would circles ones I thought were pretty and just ‘leave it laying around’. Or I would leave a picture of one I liked up  on the computer. Just talk to him about it if nothing else, it’s somethign you’ll have for the rest of your life. You need to love it.

Post # 4
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I’m sort of dealing with this right now. I really, really, really want an asscher cut Asha. We had the “I don’t want a diamond” talk last night. Thankfully Mr. E has very “hippy” roots as he puts it and TOTALLY understands my reasoning. 

 

What I’ve done is compiled some favorites and saved them. Simple as that. Our guys can sometimes be unsure what to get from the very outset, and many will take all the help they can get. Perhaps broaching it by stressing how much you like simple yet elegant, where it regards to anything at all, will get it moving the right way. Or, if given the opportunity, when seeing someone elses ring while he’s present say it’s beautiful but too (insert well meaning adjective here) for your taste. He’ll get it. 

Edited to add: OP, I loooovveeee your user name!

Post # 5
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I COMPLETELY disagree with the *surprise* element of ring shopping or proposing and I think, unless you are getting the hope diamond or an equivelent heirloom that has been in one of your families for generations that this needs to be a joint effort.

I would NEVER want a symbol of my relationship to be something in which I had no say.

Not sure if you’ve had the conversation with him about where the relationship is going etc etc or if you’ve talked about what his vision is of timelines and proposals etc, but I would do that first.  Then I would say this is a big decision and one you will wear for the rest of your life, so it needs to be something that THE TWO OF YOU select.

Post # 6
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I was pretty open with my boyfriend about what I liked and what I didn’t like and eventually he asked me to send him links of the ones I liked.  However, I am very open and nagging in this regard so that may not work for a more subtle person. 

Post # 7
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@OneOfTheseDaysAlice:  Hinting at what you want can work for some girls.

The other alternative, is to make it clear to him, that if the time comes when he wants to go ring shopping, that you’d like to do it together… because (a) it is such a major purchase that will effect both your lives (b) you have to love it… as you’ll wear it the rest of your life (nothing worse than getting a ring you hate / doesn’t suit your hands … especially as it is expensive purchase, and in many cases NOT RETURNABLE)

Emphasis the EXPENSIVE part… NOT RETURNABLE, and he’ll no doubt be listening

Also, a lot of guys aren’t that familiar with jewellery, so they think that all rings are pretty much the same (it is a ring, period). 

They sure as heck don’t get that not every ring out there is going to suit (or even fit) on everyone’s hand… they assume we all have the same size.  AND they don’t tend to know much about Diamonds… so they can be quite vunerable to the Sales Staff and whatever it is that they want to push on them… one has to remember that the Sales Staff might have their own vested interests (working on commmission – Bonuses for selling a particular brand, design, etc)

I am an Encore Bride, first wedding was over 30 Years ago, even back then my Ex and I went out ring shopping together.  That worked for us, we got something we could afford in a time when Inflation was out of control, and interest rates around 22% (30%+ for credit card purchases).

This time round… I told my very traditional Hubby-2-B that there was no way in H3LL he should take the risk of buying me a very expensive ring without my having tried it on… (in his mind an Engagement Ring was just a solitaire period… and the more money you had the bigger the diamond was… nice but not my style… I had a solitaire the first time round, I certainly didn’t want one again… too many memories). 

I told him that going without me to at least look would be fool-hearty… kind of like me going out and buying him a very expensive 3 piece suit that he’d never tried on, and I wasn’t sure of his size or likes… but that he needed for an upcoming job interview.  If the suit didn’t fit he’d be both uncomfortable, and unhappy… and it therefore could effect the job interview, as well as his ongoing prospects, or performance on the job.  It was then he really understood.

In the end we got a nice cocktail style ring (my wish) with a feature diamond (his wish).  And we are both very happy… lol, so much so that he often says “Hey have they seen your ring yet?  You should show them the ring”  He is one proud and happy man… he also likes to gush about our wedding plans as they are falling into place.  It is really cute.

 

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

 I told him that going without me to at least look would be fool-hearty… kind of like me going out and buying him a very expensive 3 piece suit that he’d never tried on, but needed for an upcoming job interview.  If the suit didn’t fit he’d be both uncomfortable, and unhappy… and it therefore could effect the job interview, as well as his ongoing prospects, or performance on the job.” <—-This!!!!

Spot on!

Post # 9
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I know it’s adifficult conversation, but talking about it worked really well for me.  Admittedly it was part of a larger talk (I posted about it a while back).  But just let him know that this is a piece of jewelery you will likely wear for the rest of your life.  Let him know what you want, but also reassure him that whatever he picks you’ll love.  Good luck!!!

Post # 10
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Here’s what I did with my Fiance. I would show him a ring I really didn’t like on the computer.. and I would be like, Wow look how horrible this ring is! I would never wear this! What do you think? And then I would go to a photo of one I really did like and say oh this one is so much better! Don’t you think so? And then he actually asked me to show me more that I liked! And he did end up picking out a beautiful ring to surprise me with 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ditto PP… just tell him.  If you have had some discussions/are on the same page about the future of your relationship, then just tell him/show him/send him an email.  Somehow indicate that this is what you want, when the time is right.  

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