Post # 1
Any other bees have a Darling Husband who works in IT? It just really blows sometimes. There are a lot of projects they can’t do when other people are using their computers. This means a lot of late nights, and–you guessed it– working during the holidays. I know this is part of the deal, but last night when Darling Husband told me that he not only wouldn’t get any extra time off, but he’d be working Christmas Eve too, it broke my heart. He gets Christmas day and that’s it. I get off the Friday before and the Monday after, so I’m going to be spending a lot of time alone 🙁 I’m going to spend pretty much all my time at my parents house so I won’t be completely alone, but my heart will be aching. This is our first Christmas married and our first Christmas living together and I had visions of cuddling up by the fireplace and all that good stuff. I know there are people who have it worse than me and at least I’ll get my husband on Christmas day but it still just makes me really sad. He’s frustrated because he doesn’t have any control over it and he thinks it’s not fair for me to be sad when he can’t change it. Sigh. Anybody else going through something similar? How do you deal with it?
Post # 3
Maybe you could schedule some time out with girlfriends?
Post # 4
I know this just sounds whiney. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to spend time with my family! My brother and his family will be in town, my sister (who is my best friend) will be home from college… I guess it’s being dramatic to say I’ll be alone. I’ll be surrounded by people I love. I just really wanted my husband with me. And it’s sad to know that this will probably be this way every Christmas, as he is not planning to change careers anytime soon.
Post # 5
I lived in Japan for two years in a very rural area. Christmas isn’t a state holiday there, so I had to go to work on Christmas Day, and my whole family was all the way across the globe. It was a bit sad, but I knew I could get through it because I was going to Skype my family that night (their Christmas morning), and we could have Christmas together. We were going to open up presents together and everything. So I slogged through work, got home, put on my Santa hat, and called my parents. They answered, we got to say hello, everything was great…
And then, after forty-five seconds, the call was dropped, and my internet was gone. It turned out that my internet company had screwed up and decided that I hadn’t paid my bill, and so they had shut me off. I had paid it, but it was two days before they could get my internet running again, and by then, I had left for India for vacation.
I spent my Christmas completely alone, and I cried while I opened my presents in my empty apartment (I couldn’t wait because I knew my parents had sent me a bunch of stuff to bring with me on my vacation). It sucked more than anything.
I knew, though, that my parents wished I could be there or that my internet would work, and that we loved each other, and even though that Christmas sucked, there would be other ones. Other AWESOME ones. It didn’t make that Christmas much better, but it offered some perspective. I hope it does the same for you.
…And, in a strange twist of fate, a few years later, I am now working for the billing department of that same evil internet company.
Post # 6
Aw, I know it sucks. Just make the most of that one day and try to be grateful for what you’ve got. Everytime I feel like I’m going into Pity Party Mode, I think of all the things that could be worse. I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid, because of course they are! Just stay positive and enjoy the time you two have. 🙂
Post # 7
It is hard but at times like this you just have to put on your big girl panties. People need services on holidays too, especially emergency services like police, fire, ambulance, nurses, doctors etc and apparenty IT.
We are in the reverse situation . I am working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Eve. The love of my life will just have to make plans.
I suggest you focus on your family when you are with them and your honey when you are with him. Maybe consider doing some volunteer work at a soup kitchen. It tends to put things in perspective.
Post # 8
I feel your pain!! My Fiance works in public accounting and right now is his client’s busy season…he comes home at 10 pm every night and works weekends and it sucks. And doesn’t end until March- it’s like being in a long distance relationship again. I’m especially upset because we are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for 15 of our friends next Sunday, and all of a sudden now he has to work! It’s going to suck attempting to pull that off alone.
Anyway I don’t really have advice, just wanted to commiserate! It’s okay to be upset, it sucks to not have them around at these types of times. I think the best thing we can do is stay busy in other ways, and enjoy having some me time (I kind of like getting to eat scrambled eggs for dinner and not cook haha) and be supportive to them- it’s not like they want to be working these crazy hours! I am trying not to complain too much and to be cheerful when he comes home (although I might be failing at that a little lol)
@GreenEyedMoon: that’s really funny that you work for that company now!
Post # 9
I’m a nurse that works nightshift, 12 hour shifts and every other holiday. It’s what we signed up for going into a 24/7 profession. It sucks it really does but I sometimes just look at it as another day and it helps. I have to work Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and New Years night this year. So I’ll miss our traditional Christmas Eve service and I’ll be going non stop on Christmas day seeing that I’ll get off at 7:30 am. I get your feelings and it’s hard sometimes, I guess it doesn’t bother me as much bc 1. Its part of the profession and 2. After 6 years I’m use to it. Darling Husband and I take a day after the holidays and spend the day together doing something special with that nice holiday paycheck! 😉
Post # 10
I can really relate as I’m pretty much in the same boat as you, only I think I have it worse. My Husband doesn’t work in IT though, he works at as a slot attendant at a Casino and the worst part is his hours are regularly 11-7 or 12-8 AM so we only get to sleep together 2 nights a week. My Husband doesn’t get any holidays off (he will be working both Christmas Eve and Christmas night) so you’re very fortunate that your husband has Christmas off at least. I work daylight hours so we don’t even get the same days off (his is Tuesday-Wednesday and I get the weekends) so we rarely get to share a full day together.
It’s extremely difficult to deal with and I don’t think I’m dealing with it very well at all. It’s harder cuz I don’t have many friends I can turn to for comfort and my Mom thinks I should be more understanding. I know it helps me a little to know that my husband is applying to other jobs so this is only temporary. I just hate waiting. He has been working these hours for a little over 1 year now and it seems like it’s been forever already. I try to keep my mind occupied and not get depressed about it. I think it’s best to just try to pass your alone time with something.
Post # 11
Treasure the time you do have with your husband, and you’re very lucky that you’ll at least be able to be with your family! And tell your husband how proud you are of how hard he works and that you appreciate he is willing to give up his holiday to provide for your family–men need to hear stuff like that, and it will make him appreciate you for not making him feel guilty for something he can’t help.
Post # 12
This will be my 3rd Christmas with Fiance…and we won’t be spending it together. We never have. On the day I’ll be approx 300 miles away from him and on my own. At the moment I’m still recovering from bacterial pnuemonia. I don’t have any family here and I refuse to be the ‘sad friend’ intruding on other people’s families.
Fiance will be working until 6pm on the day. He cares for physically/mentally disabled adults. So at least one of us will be doing something worthwhile…
We are all strong women, and we will be fine on our own!
Post # 13
I know how you feel. My Fiance is a Pastor, which means every major religious holiday he’ll be working. This is the first year that he’s serving, and not only will he need to work on Christmas Eve and morning, but he’s 5 hours away from me right now. The plan is that he’ll drive back to me that afternoon just in time for dinner (fingers crossed the weather coorperates!). We get about two days after Christmas to spend some time together and he heads back up north. It’s hard…especially during this time of year. But try to remember that many of us (me included!) romanticize Christmas. If you want some cuddle time in front of a fire, do it now or when you have time together. It doesn’t have to be on Christmas Eve, ya know? Just try to enjoy the time you do have together. 🙂 Keep your spirits up!