- 9 years ago
I have a tricky situation and need some opinions.
First of all, as a background, we are having a wedding of about 45. My parents are both estranged with their respective families, so about 40 of the 45 people attending our wedding are my fiance’s family.
We are having a very small, no-frills reception, which my parents are paying for graciously, along with the cake, since my mom has said she would like a fancy one. My fiance and I are paying for wedding favors, decorations, and whatever inexpensive flowers we choose to wear.
The only thing left to pay for is liquor.
Now, my Future Mother-In-Law, since the day she found out that we were getting married has called me and constanly asks me what she can pay for. I know she doesn’t have much money (only when she WANTS to have it, to buy a motorcycle for her boyfriend, or to purchase a Wii, etc.) but I can tell she would like to pay for something. We talked with the hall we are having our reception, and they said that she can pay for the first $100, $200, or $300, etc., drinks purchased and we can do a cash bar afterwards. She agreed she would do this, paying o the first $300 drinks.
NOW she is telling us that she will pay for BEER only, and not mixed drinks, which means that I, my parents (who are paying a whopping $25 a person for HER family to eat… that’s $1000… for HER family to eat), probably the grandparents, and the only three friends I inited, will have to pay for our own drinks at the wedding, and have no option for free drinks (we don’t do beer, and the hall says its "all or nothing" and it gets too complicated when they serve beer to him her and them, and then mixed drinks to him, her and them.) I know she reaizes this and wants to guarantee that she never gets to her $300 limit. I don’t think it’s fair. My mom didn’t say that people can eat roast beef for free, and then pay for chicken if they want that instead!
What do you do when someone ASKS what the can pay for, you tell them, and then they only want to help pay for half? (And what do you do when said person is your FMIL?)