(Closed) IL’s are tied up to us financially more than we thought

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

For the bank account, why not bypass Mother-In-Law and just open a new joint accrue with you H and have him transfer his money there?

Post # 5
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m confused.  First of all, you don’t owe any taxes on a stock gain or loss unless/until the stock is sold.  Secondly, if the stock is sold as a loss, then that is a capital loss.  You can use that capital loss to offset capital gains, and beyond that I’m pretty sure you can take up to $3,000 of capital losses as a deduction.  So, if anything, a stock loss would increase you tax refund, not decrease it.

Post # 6
Member
8668 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If it’s his account he could just withdraw his portion of the money and move it to a brand new joint account with you. The only issue I could see is if there is some stipulation where he can only withdraw X amount without her signature.

I would be really annoyed by that too though, Fiance has an oooold credit card that is a joint account with his mom and she racked up quite a balance on it for a while…

Post # 7
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@SimplyChic11:  

you said its his account, so as long S he has rights to withdraw money, he can just withdraw from that account and deposit in a new one. If he doesnt have rights to withdraw than its probabt a savings account opened when he was a minor and Mother-In-Law is the only one who can access it.

Post # 9
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If he is an owner on the account, he should be able to withdraw every last god damn cent and get it away from her controlling hands. However, there is a possibility the account may have been set up in a way that require all owners signatures for withdrawal, so if that’s the case, he wouldn’t be able to get the money out without her. If its possible to withdraw, I’d just open a new account at a different bank so that she could never have any kind of connection to it. 

Out of curiosity, how old is he? I couldn’t imagine my parents or inlaws having a single shred of control over my finances. That would never fly with me.

ETA: Saw your update. As soon as that women gets back to the states she needs to sign whatever is necessary so that your husband is free from her financial control. He’s not a child. You’re finances are none of her concern.

Post # 10
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SimplyChic11:  Is the withdrawal limit just for one specific bank transaction or over a period of time? If he can only withdraw so much per transaction then go back every single day until she gets home and take out the max. I used to work in a bank and we had customers with similar circumstances (though it was a husband/wife deal). The wife came in every few days and took out the max allowed. Her husband was a controlling piece of shit so if we could have allowed her to take it all in one trasaction we would have. Unfortunately, the systems don’t allow it even if the bank personelle do.

Post # 11
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Like others, I think he should just withdraw the max amount daily until it’s empty.  If he can’t do this, (assuming it is a checking account) you could have him write you a check for the whole balance of the account, you cash the check, and  turn around and put all that money in a second account with both your names on it. He could then take his name off of the account he shared with his mom when it was all said and done. 

Post # 13
Member
4375 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The second one is beyond frustrating – technically, they stole from your FI!

However, I’m glad to read that you and Darling Husband have come up with a “solution” for the first issue. It sounds like Darling Husband, while defensive, understands how important it is that you two regain control of finances.

The topic ‘IL’s are tied up to us financially more than we thought’ is closed to new replies.

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