- 5 years ago
Basically, I’ve always had depression and anxiety issues, and panic attacks.
A few years ago, while walking across a college campus, a girl and her 3 friends approached me. They were trying to sell me a salon package, and I politely said “no thank you” and they kept after me. They kept walking in front of me, preventing me from walking any farther, and surrounding me and saying awful things about how I looked etc. I felt like I was in middle school again.
I ran to my car and started sobbing. I went home early that day, and never went back.
As far as jobs go, I get my feelings hurt quite easily, and I panic a lot. I got a job at a coffee shop, and everyone was really friendly except 1 girl. She would constantly yell at me in front of customers and point out how I was going too slow/messing up. She was nice to EVERYONE else but me. I felt like I was an alien or something, I just couldn’t fit in. The longest job I’ve ever had was 2 years long, and I think it was only because my EX-bf worked with me, so I was more relaxed and felt comfortable.
So… fast forward to today, I’m on disability for my depression/anxiety, and I’m extremely embarrassed by it. I feel like a loser. I’m 27 years old. I want to have a nice little job and be able to have an income and make myself (and my BF) proud.
This fall I’m going back to school (hopefully) to get my degree in nutrition. I’d love to be able to help people someday… I want to be normal so badly. I feel so bad for my Boyfriend or Best Friend. He says he understands and supports me with going to therapy and such but.. he could be with someone NORMAL, and he’s stuck with ME.
I was at a dinner party at a friend’s house, and some lady she knows (whom I had never met) asked me: “So what do you do?” and I said “I’m going to be going back to college in the fall.” And she asked “So… you don’t work?” And I said “No…” and then she looked at my Boyfriend or Best Friend and said “Well I guess that makes you, her sugar daddy!” …. I was MORTIFIED.
Not to mention a few months back, the BF’s older brother and mother called me lazy. Then the Boyfriend or Best Friend revealed what was going on with me, and his mother apologized and felt awful, but his brother never apologized because he didn’t feel like he needed to.
I just want to be normal.