(Closed) I'm 34 and the last of my family to get engaged. Pathetic rant warning!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Been there, your time will come.  I was 37 by the time I got my ring and got married.  And had a child all in the same year.  I am the 3rd oldest out of my brother and cousins.  All the others have either been married/divorced already.  Only one other cousin didn’t have a child yet.  So yeah I felt your pain. Just can’t let it get to you and be happy where you are in your life.

Post # 5
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ah, if you spent some time in Landmark, reminding yourself of this might help:

There are two universes… one in which things are happening (words are passing through the air as soundwaves) and another in which a story is created about what the soundwaves mean. In the story, the past and future are very prominent (motivations, intent, expectation, attitude). And in what’s simply happening, there is only the present, and an constant stream of new moments, each complete in itself.”

Post # 7
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@indigo_love:  

I’m not sure what Landmark means, but if you’re on boyfriend #4 and the last three ended all for the same reason, should some adjustments me made? Do you think you could be sending out “desperation” vibes? Personally, I would not want to marry someone who just wanted to marry me just for the sake of being married. I want someone to marry me because they want to spend their life with me.

Post # 8
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It can be frustrating when life doesn’t happen on the timetable that we laid out for ourselves.  I’m sorry you’re so frustrated.

Post # 9
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

have you and your boyfriend talked about marriage?

Post # 12
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think, as an accomplished woman with a stellar career, who is well-educated, and is in love, you should feel like the well-rounded successful person you are. Getting engaged isn’t an accomplishment – it’s something pretty much everyone does at some point. Better to be 34 and rock solid in what you want from life than to be young and engaged without that foundation. Better to be accomplished and interesting than simply married.

Post # 14
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@indigo_love:  I think it may help to think about this way: Marriage is  not a goal, but something that may happen along the way while you accomplish your ACTUAL goals, which have to do with personal success. Have a career that you love, travel , or whatever it is for you.

If marriage was a goal in itself for you, you would be married. You would have chosen another life, you would have dated a guy that wanted to get married immediately, and you wouldn’t have focused so much on your career, education, etc.

If you’re in a loving comitted relationship, it will probably happen. But don’t think about getting married as a step forward in your life or a main course. Just think about it as a side thing. Equally fullfilling or rewarding, sure, but not something to aspire to.

Post # 15
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@crayfish:  completely agree with this! anybody can get married and have children, but not everybody can accomplish other stuff

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