(Closed) “I’m 88% sure he’s the one”

posted 10 years ago in 30 Something
  • poll: How sure are you he's the one?

    100%

    90-99%

    80-89%

  • Post # 32
    Member
    2536 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I didn’t believe in The One. It just sounds crazy, but then I saw McGroom and I knew. He doesn’t believe me, but I called two people and told them that day I saw my husband; I didn’t know his name, how to find him again, or why he was at my work, but he was my husband. That said, it’s not been all sunshine and roses. We argue and have to make it work, but we do. There’s no other choice. So maybe it doesn’t happen like that for everyone, but that doesn’t mean their relationships are less meaningful and loving. It just means we met differently.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted 90%- 99% because I am 100% sure that he is the one for me but his family, that’s another story.

    Post # 34
    Member
    2857 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

    I don’t believe in “The One.”

    I am 100% sure that I love him and want to spend my life with him. But who knows – maybe there are other guys out there who would’ve fit the bill. I don’t care, and I’m not looking, but they’re probabl out there somehwere.

    Post # 35
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I know I couldn’t ask for anything more….My husband is everything and anything I could ever want and I am 100% certain about that.  It would be really difficult to find someone who has so many of the qualities I was looking for while also lacking many of the negative qualities I was trying to avoid. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Like many other bees, I don’t believe in “The One” either.  My fiance and I happened to meet on very unusual circumstances, and if just one tiny event changed in either of our lives, we probably would have never met.  It’s strange how seemingly small decisions can have such a huge impact on your life.  I’m sure if my life took me down another path that I would find someone who I love as much as I love my fiance.  That being said, I am 100% certain that I want to spend the rest of my life him. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I put 80% down. Fiance is one of my closest freinds, even when we dated other people, we would chat online for hours a day. Shoot, he would third-wheel on my dates lol. I think we have the same goals, alot of the same views, agreement on the fundamentals of life, etc. But, there are alot of things about him that I would have never “envisioned” as my “the one” qualities. For one, he is a body builder – and I usually dated men with average builds, not Mr. Olympia. He is “Mr. Clean” bald, never saw myself with that. Some of the things he says, (insert foot), I get very annoyed with. lol. I could go on and on. Was it giggly/butterfly love that makes me feel like he was made for me? No. But we have dated nearly 2 years without even a fight, so I think we have built something as strong as 2 people can build it. He’s never made me cry, everyone else I have dated has hurt me in some way. But, I think that is more than supermatural “meant to be” stuff, its timing, work, compatibility… That said, I have prayed about this relationship and I asked God to take him from me if he was not the right person, and in the past he would make good on that prayer. He’s still here so perhaps in God’s eyes, he WAS the only man intended for me. If he is “the one” or one of many possible “ones” = I’m glad we are where we are.

    Post # 38
    Member
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    one hundred bazillion percent sure.  We are a “2’nd time around” couple.  I know in the depths of my soul we were made for each other and I would never be as happy for the rest of my life with anyone else but him.  (Sorry we are LD right now and I’m also missing him mucho AND pms’ing….can we say emotional….

    Post # 39
    Member
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Statistically, 40% of first-time brides will end up divorced.  And the statistics are even worse for those who have been married before.  Yet I don’t see any bride, ever, saying, “I’m only 60% sure.”  So how sure a bride is doesn’t seem to correlate with how likely it actually is that she will end up divorced.

    In my first marriage, I felt sure we would stay together, if only because I was determined to make it work.  However, even that was not enough.  I tried as hard as I could, but he left anyway.  Since none of the girlfriends he had before or after me lasted more than a year or so, I figure that being with him for 20 years counts as an accomplishment.

    This time around, I did everything I could to increase the odds.  My children are out of the house, so the issues created between stepparents and stepchildren aren’t a concern.  I was 56 and she was 41 when we married, so we’re not changing as fast as couples in their 20s.  I had lived with her for nearly nine years before our marriage, so there weren’t a lot of surprises left on that score.  So I am as sure as I possibly can be.  But I’m also old enough to know that even that is no guarantee.

    Post # 40
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I 100% agree with mountain.bride… I think that there are many “the ones” out there for us, but if you find one of them, marry him!!!  But, I’m 100% certain about my decision to marry my fiance… I don’t have any doubts at all.  I know our relationship will never be perfect, but I’m really happy with him and it will take a lot of work to stay married forever.  But, it’s the commitment that keeps couples together, not the person being “the one”.  I don’t know… I’ve been with my fiance for 11 years and I’m soon-to-be 31, so my perspective is probably different from other brides.  It does seem to be spot on with all you fellow bees, though! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 41
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m not sure I believe in ‘the one’ either. But after only a few weeks of dating (we knew each other for 1.5 years before our first date) I knew I wanted to marry him, I wanted to have his children and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 42
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Like a lot of you say, I love him all the time, but there are times I don’t like him.  He has a lot of great qualities, and I know he will be a wonderful father.  But sometimes he is so unmotivated.  And he has some bad habits that I’d love to see him work on.  Reading some of the posts here on the bee, about people really working in relationships, then later divorcing and finding a “much more easy” makes me wonder too…   But he’s my best friend, we can spend a lot of time together without annoying each other, and I can’t imagine my life without him.  I hope I’m not getting too caught up in the wedding planning and ignoring the relationship, the marriage that we are working towards.

    Post # 43
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I dont really believe in The One either.  But my Fiance loves when I’m being a crabby bitch, when I wake on Saturday morning with mascara smeared all over my face, and when I’m whining about work.  And he does it all with a smile on his face.

    I love this scene from Juno and it kinda resonated with me when I saw it.

    Juno MacGuff: I just need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together forever.
    Mac MacGuff: Well, it’s not easy, that’s for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I’m proud to say that we’re very happy.
    [Juno nods]
    Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

    Post # 44
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I love Juno and that is sooo true!  After I posted my comment, I got to thinking about the 88% comment from Bethanny…. does that just scream DIVORCE to anyone else?  I’ve always been told that if you have any doubts, don’t get married!  I guess you have to decide whether you are actually unsure or whether you just don’t like your FH 5-22% of the time… because the latter seems normal, but I would think having doubts is not a good sign.

    Post # 45
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t think you can ever be truly sure of anything, but then I am a naturally indecisive person ๐Ÿ™‚

    I don’t know if I believe in “the one”… I certainly think it is possible some people have a “soul mate” or someone perfectly suited for them, but then I also think for most of us, there are many people that we could love just as much.

    I love him dearly– but given a different circumstance, what’s to say if I never met him, I might have fallen just as in love with someone else?

    We will never know, but I’m OK with that. It doesn’t make me any less happy ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 46
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    rachel, that is a great quote , and my favorite part of the movie ๐Ÿ™‚

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