(Closed) I’m a complete emotional wreck :(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

((Hugs))  It’s sounds like you’re having a tough time right now.  I’m not sure what to say about your job situation other than to hang in there.  It’s tough, and major changes can take time to work…

But it sounds like your biggest frustration is a fear that Mr. Panda thinks less of you b/c of your job woes.  Honestly, I would guess he thinks more of you for the perseverence with which you are continuing to find a way to keep working…even if it’s not in the area your education was in.  Have you talked to him about the way you feel?  I think you may be pleasantly surprised by his response.

Post # 4
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hey there…I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time.

First off, I think it’s really important to remember that you’ve been through a lot of changes lately, and things are stressful.  You have a right to feel like life’s been really unfair, and it’s okay to feel bad about things.  However, this doesn’t mean you should feel bad about yourself!  It sounds like you really took it hard when you lost your journalism job, and haven’t really believed in yourself since.  I’m sorry that this has happened.

The big thing is to try to take one thing at a time:  there’s nothing worse than overwhelming yourself when you already doubt your own abilities.  Sit down and prioritize things in your life, then attack it one at a time.  Make a plan, but with little steps, so that each task is not stressful.  Talk with your boss at work about what you can do to improve your work – even asking shows that you’re willing to work hard and put the effort, which will likely save your job in the long run.  You’re obviously smart, so use that brain of yours and do your best!  Yes, it’s not the most glamorous job, but as your dad taught you, sometimes you have to do the things you don’t want to because you need to.  Also, have a heart to heart with your fiance.  He obviously loves you, so he’ll at least try to understand where you’re coming from.  Explain that you know you haven’t been yourself, but you’re doing your best.  After all, marriage is “thick and thin, better or worse, richer or poorer,” right? 

I suspect your worries about your Fiance losing respect for you, as well as your own feelings of inadequacy are due to your current emotional state.  My guess is that due to your situation, you’re probably feeling depressed.  Although it may not be needed at this point, it’s important to keep in mind you might benefit from some professional help before things get too bad.  There’s certainly no shame in seeking help to get yourself back on your feet, just like there’s no shame in waitressing.

I’m sure what’s happened lately isn’t what you really want, but remember that things always change.  You are a smart woman, and capable of doing whatever you put your mind to.  That is what’s going to get you through this.  I know it’s hard, but patience will be needed. 

If it helps, I know what it feels like to look at your life and wonder why it’s not where you imagined it.  However, you also have to take pride in what you have accomplished, and joy in what you have(ie, your FI!).  Take a deep breath, start anew, and know we’re all behind you!

Post # 5
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Oh hugs hugs hugs all around.

I’ve been jobless since June. I can’t even get a job at Target. (Although I have a sneaking suspicion my old boss might be lying to potential employers about me and I’m about to take her off my resume)

I understand how you’re feeling. My fiance works a hard job at a sucky place with stupid annoying people. His boss has his head so far up his… Anyways, and here I am sitting at home all day everyday. And I started working at 15 too. I had 2 jobs my senior year of highschool. When I wasn’t in school I was working. When I was a little kid I thought the child labor laws were stupid. I wanted a job so bad. And now…I have no means of income what so ever.

I totally get it. I wish I had advice for you. ๐Ÿ™
Maybe try going into retail instead of waitressing. That’s pretty much all I’ve ever done is retail. You don’t get tips but you don’t have to remember all these things people need. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 6
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

We’re >>here<<… I went to an IVY league college had a kid graduated college (on time) worked in a career then moved to different city and now am currently jobless to occupy my time and mind I do home projects, it’s fun and relaxing, oh yeah and there’s the calligraphy and the event design business. trust me it’s a huge ego blow to realize that you aren’t what you expected yourself to be and you’re not THAT girl, the one with the manolos, I definitely feel a loss of identity, who am I? I have what in my bank account, oh my God, I remember when I spent that on a dinner and now I have to budget to go to McDonalds, it’s a treat.  I am sure your fiancee still adores you, take time to revel in the fact that you’re home alone a lot and this is the first time in your life you’re actually able to breathe (as least it is mine) and focus on yourself.  you are at a different stage in your life, remember diane keaton on baby boom where she lost herself but found herself by making the yummy baby food?  you just have to find yourself again, you’re a writer, when’s the last time you’ve written?  go on your porch or to a park take in your surroundings and just well write about them.  and then there’s the expectation of what you think you family thinks, after moving away i realized that i did a lot of things that people expected of me, but not really anything that i wanted to. ((HUGS))

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I believe that we all have the power to make things happen or not happen for us by our own self-thoughts.  For instance if you think you stink at waitressing then you will because you’re not confident about it.  If you think your boss is looking at you in a negative way then they probably are because you are sending off body language that says I’m not happy, not comfortabel doing this.  You Fiance is seeing the same things.

So tomorrow when you go to work walk in there with a smile.  Greet your table with a postive attitude.  I’m sure you are probably better then you think you are. 

I hope this helps you.  Things will get better.

Post # 9
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the 20’s are the worst for never feeling like you have accomplished enough. I have made a few goals for myself, but try not to get down when I have a set back. Consider talking to your Fiance about moving to a better location for your career. If your area like you said has no work you have little choice but to move or change careers. I do realize the complications of house ownership and responsibilities because I have been there, but you have to do what makes you happy. 

I am sure you Fiance has not lost respect for you. He is just probably depressed that you are so unhappy. Sit down and make a list of priorities. Go over it with him, and make it happen. You will both be happier in the end.

Good luck. I hope it works

Post # 11
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Awww hang in there. I have been there too.  Quit my job for my DREAM job and financially we couldn’t afford it.  I had a kind of a break down and then sucked it up and found ANY job I could (which I ended up loving and was nothing I thought I would ever do) Talk to your hubby and hang in there. It gets better and that is what he is there for…to support you!

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

You don’t make it sound like he loves you less, so I’ll try to give you what I think maybe is going on (although you should keep in mind that you are there, and only you know your life best!).

Sounds like you are really hard on yourself.  You were sad about the first job and now you’re disappointed about the second job.  Your husband gave you lots of support the first time, and now he’s running low on cheerful things to say.  I don’t think he respects you any less, he may just be running out of things to say.  Sometimes we get really down and we count on our SOs to get us out of it.  But it may be that you brought him down too, and maybe he could use a little cheering up.  Don’t get too hard on yourself!  You’re trying and that’s all anyone can ask.  Don’t be too hard on your FH either, I’m sure he’s just as disappointed in the job market as you are.  Maybe you should plan a night for the two of you to relax and forget about it.  A fun night where you don’t mention work or anything.  Try to remember what you love about each other!  And then try to find something every day to be happy about.  Don’t rely on him to cheer you up!  Sometimes it’s when we pick ourselves up that we feel the most proud because we did it ourselves.  We’re all going through a tough time economically, but it’ll get better, and you will find a job you like.  You’ve accomplished a lot in life, don’t forget that!

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