(Closed) I’m a complete MESS….postpone the wedding with only 4 months notice???

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

It sounds lie you are in a tough spot, but definately have some options. Selling the horse, while sad sounds like the right thing to do. Working nights and then coming home to have kids to take care of is tough, no going to lie, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

I think bumping back the wedding or doing an immediate family only wedding now and a big recpetion at a later point would be an easy way to go. Would that be an option?

Post # 4
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

What about a very small afternoon backyard/park/courthouse wedding for your very close family?

It need not cost you anymore than the license, the commisioner of oaths, and maybe a few homemade (or Costco bought!) appetizers and drinks. Or, you could have a little outdoor barbecue.

It may not be what you imagined, but that does not mean it won’t be great. Seriously, some of the best weddings I have been too (or been involved in) are those that aren’t really all that “traditional” at all, but what I do remember is the vows exchanged, the intimacy of the ceremony and the day, and how welcoming it felt.

 
I am sorry you likely have to sell your horse, but I would definitely agree it is probably a good idea, as they are expensive to maintain. I see you are in Calgary, I am sure if you post something on kijiji or something you will find someone willing to give her a new home.

 

Post # 6
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Aww we’re date twins!  I’m sorry you’re going through this, I can’t imagine what I’d be like if I was going through this right now!  I hate when money brings me to the point of having to sell my horse.  I’ve been close a few times, but managed to hang on to him!  I am in Edmonton, and have lots of horsey friends all over western canada, so if you need help selling/homing her, let me know, I’d be glad to help if I can!

I agree with PP’s maybe changing the scope for now to a small intimate group, and bigger reception later on when you are in better shape financially?  Or maybe you could do a saturday dessert reception somewhere, or sunday brunch that would be cheaper than a full dinner/dance reception?  Saturdays (nights) are always super expensive because they are so sought after.  I might also look a bit further afield for venues for a saturday or day/morning reception…Cochrane has some stunning lodges/hotels, as does Kananaskis, and Okotoks, Bragg Creek, Chestermere are still really accessible to Calgary!  Maybe getting out of the city would be helpful money wise?

Post # 8
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pittymama:  Can you message me some details on her?  Age, breed(papered?) height, what she’s had done with her, her history if you know any of it? (I know you said she’s not broke yet but how not broke IS she?).  Honestly, if she is older than 3 and not broke, you will be lucky to get meat prices for her, $300-$500 if you are lucky.  The market out here is AWFUL for unbroke horses!  (I have a gelding I have tried to home a few times now, he’s broke but not ridden in a year so no one wants him)

As far as your wedding, have you looked to see if a church  or woman’s group or a local seniors home or even a bar/cafe could cater it?  Sounds odd I know, but they often have rooms and provide the snacks etc for minimal cost complared to hotels and caterers.  The caterer doing our wedding has a deli, it’s only open until 2 pm weekdays, but he rents it out privately for functions and will provide the food at a very reasonable cost, you basically don’t pay for the venue, just food and servers.

Hang in there, if I can do anything to help, I’d be happy to!

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry, but I would hate to see you sell your horse and work an extra job away from your kids!

 

I cancelled my wedding with just 4 months to go.  We got all our deposits back and no invitations were sent out. The cancellation wasn’t due to money though, it was due to an illness.

 

It is sad, but you know what?  We will be much better off financially.  We still have a lovely elopement/honeymoon planned.

 

I feel cheated too.  The first time I was married was so blah.  I just wore a skirt, the country clerk stood up from her desk, we went back to work.  NO WEDDING ANYTHING.  Not even rings.  I was really looking forward to having a real wdding event with actual guests.

 

Life is just like that.  I haven’t even cried over it.  You just have to move on and make the best of it.  Make the best decision you can with what you have.  No one should go in debt for a wedding day.

Post # 10
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pittymama:  If your father isn’t willing to help I would say just have a small ceremony and plan a bigger blowout later. It is not worth a night job at Walmart–that is too much–it’s not worth risking your health and relationship (since i’m sure no one is fun to be around when they’re sleep deprived)

Post # 11
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Take The Reins:  Umm I really hope I misunderstoon the ‘meat prices’ thing–are you suggesting that her horse would be sold for meat? I hope not that’s terrible!

Post # 12
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

ugh situations like this are not fun, but they are possible to get through… I don’t know how much you still have to pay off but with 4 months if it is less than half your wedding cost I think you can totally do it and more if you needed to. 

1. Your reception is already small and that sounds great. I am wondering if you might be able to save some money by having people make the desserts instead of going through a traditional bakery. 

2. Are there any decor items that you haven’t used that people won’t miss if they are not there, which you could return? (extra center piece supplies, a few yards a toole, favor making supplies(I promise people won’t miss them) 

3. I am sure you have already considered the classic money savers -no cable-no phone-no internet- for a few months, that alone saved me 650 in three months, but I don’t know about your prices down there. Selling unwanted things around your home etc. If you allready are caring for three kids I know a 4th would not be ideal but could you offer to watch another maybe in the same age range as babysitting/daycare to keep money comming in during the day? 

Post # 13
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sylvia.riggle:  No, I am not suggesting she send her for meat, though if she ends up at auction around here that’s likely where she will end up.  An unbroke horse is only worth their weight by the pound usually (unless young and really well bred and papered) and the meat buyers dictate the price per pound, gory yes, true, sadly so.  People right now won’t pay much more than that for an untried, unstarted horse, you can buy a broke riding horse out here for under $1000 and there are so many offered free.  Which is why I am offering to help her find a home for her instead of the alternative.

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