I'm a control freak (help)

posted 12 months ago in Wellness
Post # 31
3595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

makem1234 :  you’re crazy. For all of your self-professed inflexibility when it comes to getting terminology correct, you sure as hell have made some mistakes yourself. When someone describes themselves as an old soul, it’s often taken to mean ‘liking activities and things associated with elderly age’ – e.g., not going out and partying, knitting, tea, shawls, old music, etc etc. 

I’m sure all your coworker meant to say (in a very awkward sounding convetation) was that you seem to have the energy and vitality to deal with children, while she doesn’t. 

Seems like you’re looking for ill will that isn’t necessarily there. 

Post # 32
473 posts
Helper bee

You sound absolutely exhausting. And you also don’t know what old soul means. 

Post # 33
378 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like your coworker sucks. 

Happens. Nothing to do about it, but handle your own reaction. 

I kinda want to point out that you should always attempt to imagine people complexly. It doesn’t sound like this lady has the best of life atm–she only talk about her future and her family that needs her. 

I might need to be fantasizing about an amazing future husband and job to deal with the stress of my family being dependent on me. 

I might even attempt to make myself feel better by bragging about how much they need me. 

I’m not saying that makes her actions okay, but it can be helpful to keep in mind that you don’t know anything about her or what’s going on with her or why she does what she does. Try not to take it personally. Her behavior is her problem. 


Also, off topic, but being stickler for dictionary definitions is a major pet peeve of mine. 

Language is a complex, constantly growing, changing, evolving thing. The dictonary, a written thing, can not contain nor even hope to capture all the things a single word might mean. 


Post # 34
10458 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

catskillsinjune :  

Actually, when I hear “old soul” I think of one who is spiritually very evolved, ie they have lived many lifetimes. I’ve not ever heard it used any other way.

As to the OP, everyone gets stuck with a coworker or neighbor or classmate they don’t like.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty insignificant.

One of the important tasks of becoming an emotionally healthy adult is to learn not to take everything personally.  People have their own crap going on and 99 times out of 100, we’ll never know anything about it.

Taking someone’s bad attitude personally is a choice.  You can choose not to. You can really rise above and feel some compassion for someone who is so insecure, she feels the need to act as if she is superior.

And, I second the therapy and meds suggestion.

Post # 35
201 posts
Helper bee

I wonder what happens when you do manage to prove to others or convince others you’re right. What do you feel when that happens? What do you get out of it?

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