(Closed) Im a horrible horrible person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hmm, maybe a nice card and a short message like “Life took us by surprise but please know we’re still so thankful that you shared our special day with us.” I’m sure someone could rehash this or make it sound much better!

Post # 4
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hmm… well, honestly, it’s been 14 months since your wedding.  While it’s never too late to be gracious, people will probably raise their eyes a little bit.

I really like @Jezika:‘s idea with the “life caught us by surprise” wording, and acknowleding that you’re way late with them. 

Post # 5
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re not a horrible person, but I agree with Jezika to ensure your guests that you didn’t forget them after all.  =)

Post # 6
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Better late than never! I think including how you used the money would be a nice personal touch – either the specific thing it went toward or something like “it really helped us out in the move.”

Good luck!

Post # 7
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

always better to send one, better late than never.  I like the idea of “life took us by surprise” to acknowlege it!

Post # 8
275 posts
Helper bee

I would raise my eyes more if a thank-you never came than if it was 14 months late. I’m such a stickler on Thank you cards though. Good for you OP for getting a plan together to send them out!

Post # 9
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Wow a year lol and I though I was way late. Our wedding was this April but you know it is never to late. I think that you can do what @Jezika:  said, Her wording is really cute. 

Post # 10
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, you are not a horrible person. Life happens. It’s very nice that you want to finish them.

Hm. Are you going for funny or not? If you want to go funny:

I had a Halmark card that said “I meant to write you ages ago but I was captured by a prince and he took me to his castle and…OPEN…he didn’t have a stamp”

or “We apologize for the delay in this Thank You note but directly after our wedding we were abducted by aliens from Karlgon 9 for extended human research. After proving that we humans really do have crazy lives that sometimes prevent us from doing those things we know we should, they have finally released us and we would now like to thank you so much for being a part of our wonderful wedding day.”

Post # 11
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Regina Phalange:  This!!  

I’d rather get a late thank you and know they remembered and made use of what I bought than to be overlooked.  But then again, I am one of those people who still sends cards for bdays, holidays and weddings and get excited being at a stationary store.  I think it is worth it to send out!  🙂

Post # 12
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s never too late. I was in a wedding 2 summers ago, spent $400+ to be in this wedding, and never received a Thank You card from the bride & groom.. no one else did either (other Bridesmaid or Best Man and my parents went to the wedding & didn’t get one), we’ve discussed it.. we think it’s pretty crappy no one ever got a card and we probably won’t forget she didn’t send TY cards..

So yeah, it’s never too late!

Post # 13
43 posts

I agree….it’s never too late.  But the sooner you write them, the better…for you and your guests!  It’s great that you are focused on this now.  

Post # 14
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Jezika:  I like that!

Better late than never for sure

Post # 15
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Definitely better late than never!  I also like the “life took us by surprise” sentence and then explain all the exciting things you two have done in the past year.  It’s never too late to say thanks!

Also, you aren’t horrible or you wouldn’t be on here trying to determine the best way to handle the situation!  Be kind to yourself!

Post # 16
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@JenGirl:  I’m not sure I’d find those made up excuses notes particularly funny in this case. Though I like the kidnapped by a prince for a general “out-of-touch for a while” instance.

@AshlieT:  As a guest you give a gift because you care about the couple.  If the couple has had a crazy time, most guests are aware, BUT that doesn’t excuse the bride and groom from showing their grattitude.  So yes, absolutely better to send them now than to never send the thank you notes.  But making too much of a joke about it could be mistaken for you not thinking that the recognitions of the guests’ generousity was important.   

I’d be much less likely to think unkind things about the tardiness of the thank you note if there were just a simple nod to the delay and an apology.  “Our married life sure has been eventful! We’re sorry that it’s taken a while to let you know how much your gift meant to us.  We really appreciated your generous gift. As you know we’ve been saving for a house.  We were able to start the search last month.  Thank you for your kind support.” (example for cash. I don’t ever mention the amount – it seems uncouth to me.  But I rarely recieve gifts of money.)

And of course, tailor the note as appropriate for your circumstances and the gift.

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