(Closed) I’m a jerk, or, how to deal with receiving unwanted Tiffany’s from my parents.

posted 8 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Do you already have something in mind to exchange it for?

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly, if it’s super plain, I’m sure you can just wear it with a sweater or something. I would tell her how much you love it and leave it at that. She probably spent a lot of time trying to think of the perfect present for you, and it will probably really hurt her feelings if you want to exchange it.

Post # 6
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe this is going to be considered “snarky” but, whatever. But you really should just be grateful for what you got. They tried really hard it sounds like. Just wear it when they are around if you need to, but jewelry doesn’t always have to “go” with what you wear. I got a ring from my mom that I wear every day even if the silver and blue doesn’t “match” what I’m wearing. Nobody notices anyway. One day your parents will be gone and you will really treasure that necklace they gave you. Until then, just be glad they got you something and have jobs that they were able to afford something like that. Both of my parents are unemployed.

Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Okay, this is a mom speaking. I am probably old enough to be your mom, so this advice doesn’t come lightly.

If I were your mom, I would rather you be honest with me. Sure, I would be a little hurt, but if you let her know that it just isn’t your style and you don’t have anything to wear it with, she will understand. Trust me on this. I suggest that you both go back to the store and exchange it for something that you would like, even if it is something you won’t wear all the time; maybe just on special occasions or just for fun; depending on what you both pick out together. From experience, she will be sadder if you choose to keep it knowing you will never wear it. If you both go to exchange it, she will still have an opportunity to have a hand in what you are getting, but she will know you like it.

Post # 9
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@veganglam: You are very welcome. Just take her aside and be honest with her. Let her know you love her and give her some hugs. She will appreciate your honesty. From your comments, you seem to have a great relationship with your mom. She will understand. Just make sure to include her in the process.

Post # 10
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you should tlel your Mom as others hae suggested. It is too much money to spend on something that will sit in a box.

Post # 11
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I totally agree with the OP – my jewelry has to match my outfit! My mom is really big on encouraging us to exchange gifts if there is something more fitting/useful out there. She would much rather contribute to something that we love or can use regularly than have it be something she spent her resources on that just goes to waste. If you think your mom would be receptive to it, I would approach it by acknowledging what a hard year it has been for everyone,a nd how grateful you are that she sacrificed to get you such a thoughtful gift. And then ask her if you could get something (perhaps on a joint shopping trip with her, so that she can see your face/happiness while picking out something you really like) else with the money from the returned necklace.

And, as an aside, my mom got me 3 fleece scarves for Christmas, and got my husband 3 tea strainers (???). We all fall prey to bad gifts 😉

Post # 12
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Isn’t your e-ring blue and silver?

Post # 13
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I always tell my parents when I don’t like something. Not because I’m not grateful (I am very much), but it seems like a waste of their money if they buy me something, and I just let it sit in the box/closet because I didn’t want to bring up that it wasn’t my taste.  I always just say, “I appreciate the ____ very much, but do you mind if I exchange it for something that I’ll wear more often?” They never care that I do.  As long as you approach the subject with some sensivity since you’re not sure she’ll be okay with that, then I think you’ll be fine!

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Oh my bad, I didn’t realize you had a 2nd ring. I just remember your (1st) ring because it really left an impression on me, not to mention how striking it is!

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