Post # 1
I’ve been in a strenious, long-distance relationship with a retired gas-pumper for 5 years now. He lives in AZ with his daughter for financial reasons. I did not financially plan my life well. I’m a widow, and squandered my savings with online purchases and trying to self-publish 3 novels in the mid-to-late 90s. I’m also what you might deem a “shut in.”
I was forced into retirement after I was fired from my paralegal job. One day, my desk was involentarily moved into a utility closet in the library room. I”M NOT KIDDING! My former boss told me that was done in the hopes I would quit!
Anyway, my bf and I have gotten into many “online battles” as I call them because he wants to “die with dignity” in Arizona. But we have been dating for 5 YEARS! I want him to come spend his final years WITH ME! We can make it work, I keep telling him. He keeps throwing the money reason in my face. Yesterday, I called him and proposed, and tried applying a steady stream of coersion tactics to get him to SEE that we could make it work.
He told me I sounded crazy and that he was staying in Arizona and wasn’t going to marry me. I know we are good for each other: we have great internet sex and emotional discussions. We share the same vision of the world.
How can I win my man and get him to see he needs to be with me? What tactics can I employ?? I want to be married again before my cold body hits the dirt!!
Please help. Thank you.
– M E. W-K
Post # 2
marywking : Hello, jessiquh.
Post # 4
Yeah hate to break it to you but you haven’t been dating for 5 years.
Post # 5
Assuming this isn’t fake:
Why don’t you move to Arizona to be with him? Also, you shouldn’t have to coerce someone into agreeing to marry you. This clearly isn’t a healthy relationship.
Post # 7
Doesn’t moving states mess up his social security and yours?
Post # 8
“tried applying a steady stream of coersion tactics”
Post # 9
How can people have great internet sex?
Post # 10
- Wedding: January 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts
loverweddings : LOL right?! I needed a good laugh this morning…
Post # 11
Assuming you are real because all things are possible.
Why don’t you focus on your own life? Seek help for your mental health issues through social service agencies. Reality is, being fired from one job does not have to force someone into retirement. Plenty of older people continue to work. And retired gas pumpers living with their children in another state probably don’t make the best of partners.
Have you ever actually been together in person? Regardless, he’s made his feelings quite clear. Move on.
Post # 13
I got qestions…Assuming this is actually real…
1. Having internet sex with someone for 5 years in not a long term relationship, did you guys ever meet in real life and spent any significant time together?
2. Are you willing to move to Arizona? Since he can’t move to (wherever you are) I hear the dry heat is really good. (But I am not from the US so idk how the whole pension thing works there if you move states)
3. Asking a man to marry you is usually bad enough (they dont like it!), but coersing him? Really? Would you like if he coearsed you into marrying him?
If I were you… I would focus on finding an elderly widower who has done better with his money than you(not necessarily rich, just better)… I mean i am not pro marying someone for money… but in your case it’s a survival thing not a greediness thing. You take care of him for the rest of his life and he leaves you a little something. Hopefully you guys enjoy each others company or maby even fall in love in the process. Oh and the less kids he has the better.
Post # 14
Based on the content and how this thread is written I am having a hard time belieiving this is real. However if it is, why don’t you move to Arizona?
The thing is, when people are in the later stage of their life they have already built a life, a home and routine. It is a lot to expect someone to give up all of this. However if being together is important then maybe you will need to make the move. You may also need to come to terms that your long distance SO is not interested in marriage.
Post # 15
Okay, I’ll play along. Assuming this is real, you do realize that if you re-marry, you’ll lose the Social Security you’re getting from your late husband, right?