- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hi! So I originally joined this site a year and a half ago under a different name, right after I got engaged. My wedding was this past October and I originally struggled with my choice of bridesmaids. Ultimately, I chose three: my Future Sister-In-Law at the time was my maid of honour, and two long-distance girlfriends were bridesmaids. Since everyone was extremely busy at the time and I’m a very introverted person, I requested no bridal shower and no bachelorette. My SIL threw me a shower anyway and one of my bridesmaids, who lives about 12 hours away but has family in my city, was able to make it.
Anyway, that same 12 hours away bridesmaid got engaged last week and I got not possibly be more thrilled for her. She’s not really a traditional girl and none of us really thought she’d ever marry her long-time live-in boyfriend, since they were so content as-is. Anyway, her parents are now planning a big 200 person wedding for her in my city, since she’s not really around to do any planning. She did ask me to be Maid of Honour, though, which I am beyond happy to do. I will be the only bridal party member, except for her, of course. The wedding is in just 5.5 months (so soon!) and she’s only going to be back in my city (where her family lives, and where the wedding will be) for a couple days in June and then the week before the wedding.
My question is this: Would it be wrong to ask her if she wants a bridal shower and bachelorette? I don’t really think she expects them since she’s pretty introverted like me, has few girl friends/family members (I know none, expect her mom), is getting married in just 5 months and isn’t down here very much. Mine were surprises so I don’t really know the etiquette (re: is it just expected that I throw her these things, would it be rude of me to ask what the expectation is) here. I want her to have the most amazing wedding but I don’t know the first thing about hosting an event, especially given the time constraints and not even knowing if she wants it for herself.
I’ve been pondering it all day and thought that if I ask her and she would like these things, I can try to work something out with her mother. Or I could just ask for her mother’s thoughts. If I ask her and she doesn’t want these things, I was thinking of planning a mini-bachelorette a couple days before her wedding, inviting her brother’s girlfriend (whom she is close with), and maybe her teenage cousin (whom I’ve never met) and maybe her mom for a girls spa day (she’ll want her nails down before the wedding anyway) and than dinner at her favourite restaurant. She doesn’t drink or party and we no longer have any mutual girl friends.
What do you guys think? I desperately need some guidance here. I’m so not Maid/Matron of Honor material but I want to give her absolutely the best wedding in whatever way I can.