(Closed) im a newbie……

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4069 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@colley88:  You’re not stupid!  Does he want to get married?  Does he know you want to?  I think after 12 years you should be able to have a frank, open conversation about it.  If he tries to change the subject, well, try not to let him.  It doesn’t need to be a long conversation, but it does need to be a serious one.  Be prepared that he might not want to get married, is that okay?

Post # 4
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

My sister-in-law (she’s not really) has been with my brother for 20 years. They have been together since high school, and they still aren’t married. He fought it for a long time, but now they both want to get married… It’s just life has now gotten in the way bc they have three kids.. 

 

Make sure your bf wants to marry you. If he doesn’t want to do it, then you have to decide if you’re okay with that or not. If marriage is important to you, you deserve to have someone who wants that with you. 

Post # 5
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ok, i dont want to sound mean but how do you go 12.5 years without knowing if you two were on the same page about life goals? in the first couple of years was there ever talk in general about marriage happening? i just cant imagine waiting that long. i dont think you are stupid, but maybe somewhere along the line mistakes couldve been in made/miscommunication.

Post # 7
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

wow, well it sounds like he got comfortable with the married life without having to be married, and is fine with the way things are.

 it kinda seems like he led you on under false pretenses with the marriage talk in the early stages which is not good if he cant even have a talk about it now after 12 years and 2 kids together 🙁

would you be content with living this way forever with him? or do you have a timeline in mind? its kinda tricky when kids are involved, but if resentment is setting in you have to think about your happiness and peace of mind in this situation.

i dont know if you are familiar with mr bees plan here (this really should be a sticky in this section if the powers that be see this) you should read his back up plan, it really helped me during my wait. good luck to you.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/mr-bees-three-step-plan-and-backup-plan-for-getting-engaged

 

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