(Closed) I'm a pacifist and i hate when my husband plays M-rated videogames, help?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

If you know outright that your husband would choose video games over you, it sounds like you married the wrong man, regardless of whether he’s the cutest man you’ve met in the world.

Post # 17
Member
9615 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You need to seek help for this issue. Having such an extreme reaction to fictional violence is not normal or healthy. Your issues are not everyone else’s problem. You should be taking steps to work on this not just demand others accomodate you. It’s a very self-centered way to live your life. 

And if your husband would choose videogames over you that’s not healthy either and you should probably be doing couples counseling as well. My husband plays videogames but never in a million years would he choose videogames over me (not that I would ever ask him to.)

Post # 18
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

sarahpacifist :  right and no one was saying you’re not allowed to dislike the violence (whether fictitious or not). I think we’re all just saying that if it’s that serious for you…you are probably in the wrong relationship because he’s not wrong just as you are not wrong for not liking it.

See a therapist about your anxiety/strong reactions. Find a place for him to play his games–with and without friends–that you can steer clear of. Set guidelines for the volume so you don’t have to listen to it. But it’s his house as much as it is yours; he should get to be comfortable there too.

 

Post # 18
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Maybe some counseling would help.  Your reaction to the video games sounds extreme, maybe there’s an underlying issue.

Post # 19
Member
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

sarahpacifist :  I would choose not having someone controlling me over something that isn’t real.  He’s allowed to play video games violence or not just ask him to not play with the volume up or headphones

Post # 21
Member
6379 posts
Bee Keeper

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 22
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

I think irrespective of your thoughts he’s a person too and allowed to play games

im not the “get help guy” but you need to speak to someone, you’re being super controlling over him and not allowing his friends in his house.

nope 

Post # 23
Member
9733 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Dump him and find someone softer who shares your views on what is violent.

Otherwise, get over it.

Post # 24
Member
9733 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

sarahpacifist :  Also, we aren’t girls. We’re grown ass women and men. 

You should see a professional if this is this huge of a deal for you.

Post # 25
Member
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

The games are fake just like this post!

Post # 26
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My ex used to play games like that and I wasn’t a fan. The compromise was that he played when I was in a different room in the house (sometimes with head phones if the noise was an issue) or when I wasn’t home. No problems. 

Either find a compromise or break up. Playing video games in itself is not wrong. It would be wrong if he insisted on playing when you were in the same room but it doesn’t sound like the case here. 

Post # 27
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Is he not allowed to watch Rated R movies either since most of those have violence? It’s clear that you two are not compatible. Imagine you two having children. You won’t agree on anything and will undermine the other when it comes to parenting. You have every right to feel how you do, but you do not have the right to control him based off of your views just as he can’t force you to sit down and endure the games you don’t want to. I think you do need to talk to a medical professional because breaking down and having the anxiety attacks over fictional things is not normal. Just because he enjoys those games doesn’t mean that he’s a violent person that’s going to run outside and beat someone to death or rip an animal’s head off.

Post # 28
Member
820 posts
Busy bee

The fact that your husband didn’t notice that you were crying is a major red flag– if you’re distressed, he should be right there for you to comfort you and help you out. That was not ok for him to do. That said, I think you might need to compromise on this one– a good pair of headphones so that you can’t hear the noise, and put the TV/computer in a place where you can’t see the images even accidentally. It would also be nice if your husband could have his friends over when you’re not home, so they can hang out without causing you more stress.

Post # 29
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Social worker here and in my professional opinion I think you need to get counseling ASAP. 

In my personal opinion, I hate the loud scary noises that come out of my TV when Darling Husband plays video games. He always asks if he can “have” the living room before he plays because he knows I will typically go upstairs…also headphones help tremendously. 

Post # 30
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sarahpacifist :  I think you should consider talking to a professional to address this over-the-top reaction to a fictional game. Do you feel the same way about movies, television, books, etc.?

The topic ‘I'm a pacifist and i hate when my husband plays M-rated videogames, help?’ is closed to new replies.

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