(Closed) I'm a pacifist and i hate when my husband plays M-rated videogames, help?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

sarahpacifist :  I don’t think people are saying wanting peace is wrong, I think they are saying you having such extreme reactions to it regarding your husband and a fake video game are flawed because you need to seek help for your issues with anxiety. 

Post # 62
Member
2093 posts
Buzzing bee

[content moderated for snark]

Post # 63
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

First of all, Assault victim or not, this reaction is far from being normal and you need to speak to a professional to get yourself some help. 

Secondly, this is so ridiculous. His friends aren’t allowed to come over because they’re gamers? What? My Fiance plays games I don’t like and I use the time he plays to maintain a hobby or have me time. Throw on a face mask in another room and watch a chick flick or something  

 

Post # 64
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Bloody thing 

Post # 65
Member
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

fromatoz :  

‘Jessica, is this you?? Is this what you’re like in adulthood?! I’ve always wondered’

No, it’s me ….and it was a baby  skink.

Post # 66
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

 

sarahpacifist :  

“But why is disliking violence so bad nowdaays?

Whats so wrong if someone likes peace?”

<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>It doesn’t really have anything to do with that. For example, I hate violence in real life (I think most normal well adjusted people hate violence). I’m the kind that would rather rescue the scary spider that I hate and put him outside rather than squish him because I hate the thought of causing another creature any pain, no matter how scary they are to me.  My Fiance is the same. However, we are both also avid gamers. Being a gamer has nothing to do with liking violence. It’s about enjoying a challenge. I’m sorry but the stereotype of gamers being potentially violent losers just bugs me since all of the gamers I know (a lot of them play games that are FAR more violent and grotesque than ones I play) are the sweetest people I’ve ever met who would never hurt a fly in real life, and ironically most of them are pacisfists who hate real life war.</div>
<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”> </div>
<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>Games are not real.

</div>
<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>I’m sorry you have such a strong reaction to them, but unfortunately this is something you are going to have to realise is not normal and something you will have to work on. As other bees have said, you need to reach a compromise with your husband if this upsets you so much. He needs to be more sensitive to your feelings, and you need to be less sensitive in general to be honest. Go to a professional and work through this violently strong aversion and see where it stems from so you can deal with it and live a more normal life. You don’t have to give up on your principles of pacifism, but you can perhaps come out the other side a bit more well adjusted to the real world.</div>

Post # 67
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

FullSizeRender

Post # 68
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My Darling Husband loves all his games, some violent or not. I don’t, but it is his computer and free time. He does play mostly at night when I’m sleeping (night owl vs. morning bee), wears headphones and knows that I will not talk about many of them in any real way (yuck).

But, I think you are expressing a much more profound issue. If you react to violence in the way you described, that it not typical. Before you make a decision about this marriage, you need to get with a counselor that deals with trauma and work through your reaction to violence. Violent games are not the issue, but how you react to violence is.You need to work through that so that you can function if real violence comes into your life. 

Post # 69
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

OP, you should seek professional, non-forum thread help for your anxiety. You should also think deeply about your relationship, since you’re married to a man you think would choose video games over his marriage.

That said, I can’t believe there are so many bees married to adult men who play video games. Yikes. 

Post # 70
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

spontoise :  Video games are like any other leisure activity– sports, watching television, reading, knitting. They are entertaining, provide a mental challenge, and can allow people to come together socially. My adult boyfriend and my adult self play video games all the time. We also play a variety of board games. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Video games are for all ages.

Post # 71
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

[content moderated for personal attack]

I hope you get some help.

Best wishes

Post # 72
Member
942 posts
Busy bee

this thread is so fake I can’t. Sounds like something written by a teenage girl.

spontoise :  what’s wrong with adults playing video games? Much better than watching the news nowadays. 

Post # 74
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

[content moderated for personal attack and name calling]

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