(Closed) I'm a sad bee. Family vent.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@ImaStarr:  If so many live in FL and you really wanted them to attend and FI’s family had to travel to PA, why didn’t you plan the wedding in FL?  We planned ours in a city in between where we live and my family lives to ensure that family in Jax and friends in Orlando would be more likely to attend.  I’m so sorry that you just got blindsided with this only a few weeks before your wedding.  It definitely sucks but I am sure you will still have fun at your wedding.

Post # 4
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ImaStarr:  I felt the same kind of disappointment you are dealing with now when I had a much larger number of “no” responses from my mom’s family. My mom shot down the idea of having an immediate family-only wedding because she “couldn’t imagine” my wedding without all 5 of her brothers there. So we planned a big family wedding in the city we currently live in which is in between CA (his family) and MA (my family) so everyone could attend. I was looking forward to celebrating with everyone, after all, we were pretty close and I’ve attended nearly all big family occasions, even after moving 1000+ miles away. Well, only 1 of 5 of my uncles came. 2 changed their responses from a “yes” to a “no” the week of the wedding (1 was very ill, but 1 offered no excuse) and this caused some stress on our end as we’d already given the final numbers.

But on the day of the wedding, I was completely focused on everyone who was there, NOT who was missing, no sadness or disappointment. My husband’s family was really excited to officially welcome me into their family and I gained my first niece and nephew! So much to be happy about!

After the wedding, I’ve been reflecting on what I need to do to move forward from the disappointment and don’t really have any advice about this part. But the day of the wedding, there will be so many other people there wishing you well, you won’t be feeling this way. 

Post # 5
12068 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ImaStarr:  I’m really sorry that happened to you.  That really sucks.  I’m potentially in the same boat.  My family is way bigger than FH’s, we opted to have the wedding here, where we live (not where either of us is from) because my grandfather lives nearby and is almost 99 and the only way he could come was if the wedding was close (and he might not be able to travel this far).  His grandfather also has macular and won’t fly, his grandmother cannot fly for health reasons – they can drive to the wedding here.  None of m other extended family live nearby so I will potentially have no aunts/uncles/cousins attending.  I’m hoping they can manage it but I’m afraid that they won’t come.  We chose the location that was the best option for the most people but it’s still not great.


Post # 7
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@ImaStarr:  Ahhh I am sorry! Look at it this way, either you can save on costs or invite more of your friends and co workers and people you care about outside of your family. It isn’t your fault, and it seems like a crummy thing to do to someone. Good luck bee.

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