(Closed) I'm a sad bride today :(

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@BabyBrain:  

I am so sorry that your stepmother and stepsister were both so self-absorbed that they could not find it in their hearts to be excited and happy for you. From what you’ve written, it sounds as if neither could even bother being polite.

How long have you been a part of the same family? How has your relationship been otherwise?

Post # 5
Member
4692 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Wait, she said the girl had a good tan, what’s so terrible about that? She didn’t say she didn’t like the dress…?

Step mom’s are weird about their husbands’ (your DAD’S) money.  She’s probably never going to get over the resentment of it. I would just avoid talking about the wedding with her.

Post # 7
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Maybe she is just not that into wedding dresses.  I’m not that into them, and I tried to make my dress shopping process as short and quick as possible.  If someone showed me a photo of their dress, I would make a nice comment to be polite but to be honest I would not really care much about it.  I agree that she was a little rude but I don’t think it’s necessarily a big deal.

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

A lot of hurt comes out of weddings when our expectations are different from our mother’s, fiance’s, bridesmaids’ etc.

You obviously expect and want your stepmother to be involved. It sounds like not only are her expectations quite different, but there may be an undercurrent of resentment (on her side). She doesn’t sound like someone who can meet your expectations.

See if there is someone else who would like to be involved. Your Maid/Matron of Honor, sisters, cousins? Yes, you want stepmum to be involved, but if she doesn’t seem like she wants to be included, there is not much you can do. If she doesn’t want to be included she can’t feel dis-included. I am sure that there are plenty of people in your life who would love to ooh and aah over your dress choice – and if not – the WB is here!

If it is any consolation, my mother is similarly cold. This used to hurt me a great deal when I realised it was just the kind of person she is. She is incredibly tactless… but usually doesn’t mean to be. When she saw a picture of my wedding dress on the model her first comment was that the design was perfect for cinching in my “fat” waist (I’m an AU sz 10). A few years ago that would have hurt so much but today I just laugh it off. Otherwise you would just go batty!

 

Post # 9
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BabyBrain:  I’m sorry that you are sad but one thing that you have to remember throughout the entire wedding process is that it is YOUR wedding and sadly not everyone will be as excited as you about certain aspects of it. If you love the dress than you should try it on around people who are supportive and in your corner. I’m sorry you have to go through this. The dress looks great! 

Post # 10
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m sorry that she didn’t seem more happy about it. Some people really don’t get that the dress can be a hugely sentimental part of the wedding. =

If it make you feel less terrible about your situation, to the dress I just bought off ebay, my sister said “Ohh.. it’s kind of… ugly?”

I didn’t let it hurt me; some people, you have to realize, will never be the support system you wish they were. 

Don’t let her ruin your excitement. If she wants to be uppity about your dads money (or whatever her reason may be) I’d stay away from her. She is only dulling your shine, and you deserve to feel like a radiant, beautiful, deserving bride.

 

Post # 11
Member
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That stinks! But I’m sure she’s going to have a MUCH better reaction when it’s her wonderful step-daughter in the dress!

Post # 13
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

I just wanted to offer my support, OP. You were so excited about your spectacular gown, and your family should share in that excitement (even if it’s just them being happy because you are).

My heart goes out to you, because there is nothing like having support and encouragement from your family (espcially when you’re making such a life-changing decision as marriage). I really hope that you all are able to resolve this for the better, and that you truly feel their sincere love and support for you (which seems to be the underlying issue beyond their lack of enthusiasm for your dress). 

Post # 14
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m so sorry about this. Please don’t let that take the excitment away from you. I know what you mean about wanting people to be happy for you. Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t know I have my dress I haven’t said anything because I know she is not going to say anything nice about it, and I don’t want to hear it. I hope you feel better, and that your step mother changes her attitude. Best Wishes.

Post # 16
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you over reacted.  Those are the first things they said, they weren’t thinking.  No one said you ahve to take them with you, get some of your girls to go pick it up and go out to dinner after. 

 

 

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