- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2001
Background: I’m 29 years old and earlier this year, my husband of 3 years passed away after a long battle with cancer. He was sick for many years, so I guess, a part of me was always prepared for the worst. I was very much in love with him and very happy with him. In our private talks, he always told me that if something were ever to happen to him that I should remarry and not be alone.
Here are some random questions that I’ve been thinking about, but really haven’t been able to find people in similar situations. (Mostly because other widows have either been married for many years (20+) or because children are involved – we didn’t have any kids).
It’s been about 5 months.
When is it ok for me to start dating again? If I did meet someone, when is it ok to think about marriage?
Such a dumb question, but If I were planning to get married, do you think my parents would still help me pay for it? They helped with a majority for the first wedding, but is it weird to assume they’ll help again?
How do I stop myself from listening to people with negative thoughts? I feel like I’m a people pleaser so I don’t know how to ignore the “Why is she dating/getting married so soon or Why isn’t she moving fast enough or How come she picked that guy; her husband before was so much better?”
I’m really scared about the future and a lot of my fear is based on what other people would think of me.
And most importantly, how do I get myself excited for another relationship? I mean, I’ve already been asked out, I’ve already been proposed to, I’ve already planned a wedding, etc. How do I get excited for another round? (Since it’s not the first time anymore, how do I make it seem like it is…)
Sorry if these questions are stupid.
I’m afraid to ask my girlfriends or family members b/c I feel like they’d look at me like I was crazy for even thinking about starting to date. Am I? Should I be sitting at home and not thinking about this stuff?