(Closed) I'm about to call some guests… is it REALLY THAT HARD to rsvp?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Nope not ridiculous. I am a planner so I just can’t understand when people don’t RSVP. I always know immediately if I’m going or not and pop that sucker right back in the mail immediately. So I just do not get why other people don’t…

Post # 4
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You are not being ridiculous! I am in the same boat, my RSVP reply by date was December 20, I still have 32 people that need to respond, we invited 139, and have 12 regrets from that total. Its very frustrating, and I sent my invitations out the second week in Oct for my Jan 20, 2013 wedding. Our final head count has to be in no later than Jan 10, so I have some time to get responses from people. I don’t even need the reply card back just email me an answer and I’d be happy with that!

It’s really not hard to send the RSVP back that was in a stamped envelope, just fill it out and put it in the damn mail box. Or in your case go to the wedding website and respond.

I feel your pain, and good luck getting your respones!

Post # 5
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Not ridiculous at all. Our RSVP date was December 14th. We still had about 40+ rsvp’s missing out of a total 140 invites sent. We are starting to call/text/facebook those people who haven’t responded. 

Post # 6
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My wedding is before yours but I haven’t received nearly as many RSVPs. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all to want to know your numbers but if that’s the case you should ask for them to respond earlier. Maybe give people a call and say “I’m sorry, I know the RSVP date isn’t until mid-January but we’d like to know earlier if possible.”

Post # 7
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Not ridiculous! This majorly annoyed me when I was planning my wedding! It’s so rude and frustrationg! Just REPLY people!

Good luck.

Post # 8
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

It’s really early. That means you will get delayed RSVPs. There’s a reason the recommendation is 3-4 weeks out from the event, and it’s so you haev the best response rate possible. 

Your event is still a month and a half away. Many people cannot make decisions about a wedding this far out… they may not even be able to apply for the time off yet.

It’s unfortunate that now you are stuck having to track these people down, but you created this situation.

If your RSVP date hasn’t happened yet, then you really need ot just be patient. Most people will reply as late as possible so they can be as sure as possible, and most take the RSVP date as a mail-by date, not a receipt date.

Post # 9
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mrsSonthebeach:  I agree


OP, when is your RSVP by date since you said you only mailed them 2 weeks ago. It is the holidays right now so I probably wouldnt have responded to you yet either but maybe I misread something.

Post # 10
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, I’d be irked if I received a call asking anout my RSVP when I only received the invite 2 weeks ago and it’s Christmas time. Most people need time to determine travel plans and budget, before they decide to attend. Please give your guests 4 weeks after receiving their invites before you start calling. Also, not everyone is computer literate. If you did not include stamped RSVP cards, you might want to accept people RSVPing to you verbally. 

Post # 11
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had to call most of my now in-laws, including my Mother-In-Law. They all live close by, so “they just assumed we knewthey’d be there”.

My Fiance pointed out we needed their meal choices, and anyone not getting their pre-addressed, stamped reply cards back to us ASAP woud receive the vegan meal. 😉

Post # 13
4 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think with the Holidays and all the bustle and hustle of this time of year, you’ll see more responses after the new year.  I know that when my RSVP dates starts to come up, I will be like you on edge waiting for them.  I am like other posters here and RSVP right away.  I know it’s tough but just wait it out, they will start to roll in soon!   


PREDICTION – I will need someone to tell me thing around March 1st 😉

Post # 14
37 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

That’s got to be frustrating…we are sending out our invites this week. I will not hesitate to call people who don’t RSVP on time haha

Post # 15
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@Miss T-Rex:  So your deadline isn’t for 2 weeks and you’re already this antsy? It’s going to be a hectic month and a half if you keep this up. Your guests have plenty of time to respond still.

Post # 16
3072 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Miss T-Rex:  I hate replying by email. And–I’m on the computer for hours at a time. But that code thing that you say I need? I always forget to bring it to my computer. Or else I lost it. or… or…

But that said, I know that I need to respond to a wedding invitation and I’d pick up the phone and respond if you did not include RSVP cards and for sure, I do not fault you for that. You provided a way for many people to respond and if those people (ahem, me) don’t like that method we can either call or write a note.

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