(Closed) I’m about to email my friend regarding cat she held hostage – feedback please!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’ve been following this story closely so I’m kind of bummed I can’t see anything. Oh well, good luck with whatever you decide!

Post # 63
140 posts
Blushing bee

@frustrated:HOLY CRAP!  I just read all your posts on this matter, and she is truly a crazy woman.  Honestly, I am with the others who say not to respond at all to her, but if you MUST respond, truly – please shorten the email.  Responding to all her points will only make it look like you take it seriously.  Think of how CRAZY it will make her to get a 4-sentence reply that blows her off.

Wouldn’t that be so much more fun?

Then she’ll reply with more crazy, and then you stop responding altogether.

BAM.  You win.


Post # 64
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

While I understand the want to set the crazy bitch straight and that it feels good to be able to vent and write it all out, I would not send crazy bitch an email at all. Cut off contact with her, be satisfied with typing out your vent and your ability to vent to us Bees and never speak to her again.

Post # 65
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I would definitely put the part back in about how she gave the cats to your husband and abandonded them in the first place. That’s crucial to your argument that she’s a hypocrate!

Post # 66
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ah ok. Thanks for posting again! In all honesty, CorgiTales had the perfect response. You’re just not going to change the way this person thinks. I know it’s beyond frustrating for rational people to try to deal with irrational people, but it’s a losing battle. If you feel this will give you closure and put it behind you, send it. If you think it would be inviting in a world of shit, keep it to a few sentences and then cut her out of your life for good.


Post # 67
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@tarlonda – good point!  I think this is a very logical reason not to respond with the detailed email.  It will validate her feelings by you taking her seriously. 

Good Luck!

Post # 68
7362 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@tarlonda: THIS! When you battle them toe for toe it just incites them even more and lets them know they touched a nerve, then its like “Ahhh, I got you!”. Not worth it.

Post # 69
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@frustrated: I read that your husband is taking care of the payment. However I think that will be brought up again by this person if only because her husband is so fixated on getting paid back.

I would feel the same way in having some kind of closure on this and wanting to send a letter. However she is going to respond as the others have said. In the end you are going to have your say. Then just let it go and like others have said throw it in the trash bin. Don’t respond to any further messages. Otherwise this will just keep going on and on in a vicious cycle.

Post # 70
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Didn’t get to read the email, but I agree with the posters who say it’s not worth it to send something long that she’ll want to debate as though she’s a sane person, which clearly she’s not. If it were me, she’d get this:

“Dear Former Friend,

You are crazypants and I will never let my cat within a ten mile radius of you ever again.

Consider yourself blocked in perpetuity.”

Post # 71
132 posts
Blushing bee

My and my SO have been following your story sence the start, so I’m glad you got your kitty back!!!

I can understand the need for closure, and as long as you said to her your peace and got off your chest what you needed to, That’s all that matters. I think the point of the letter wasn’t to convince her as much as therapy for you. It’s hard when someone you’ve trusted for a long time does something like his to you<3


Post # 73
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I didn’t read your e-mail as it is down, but these people are not worth any of your time.  I think it is healthiest if you cut them out of your life becasue they are insane.

Glad your kitty is home w/ you.  How did you manage to “steal” it back anyhow? 

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