- 4 years ago
My fiance and I are getting married in Florida in August of 2015 at a very fancy country club. It will be an evening wedding. Semi-formal, high end. Relatively small (expecting <90 people). 100% of our guests are coming from out of town (averaging a 10-12 hour car ride or 2-3 hour plane trip). <br />Fiance’s aunt/uncle have 2 children (ages 8 and 12) and my fiance and his mother have told this family that their children would be invited, no questions. I was okay with that, especially since the children are a bit older, they are family, and I know they are well-behaved kids.
<br />Now I’m looking at the rest of our guest list and I’m realizing if we send invites that extend to all children, we could end up with 20 children under the age of 7 at our wedding (sure it’s unlikely, but entirely possible).
My fiance and his family are adamant that it is incredibly rude to not invite children because it’s a destination…. while my family is adamant that young children should NOT be there because the venue and formality of the wedding is not conducive to children. I’m okay with compromising and having older children there because I know they can last until 10 or 11pm without having a tantrum melt-down, but I do not want a bunch of toddlers and little kids running around, rolling on the floor, and playing tag in the ballroom. (I’m an elementary school teacher, btw). Plus, those little kids tend to go to bed around 7:30pm/8pm….right when we’d be finishing dinner, so we could lose 6 or more couples right after dinner to take their kids back to the hotel for bed. I realize this is tacky to say (and I’d never let a guest know I felt like this), but if we’re spending $$$/head for someone to be there, we want to at least have them stick around past dinner so we can spend a little time with them and hopefully have them contribute to the dancing/festive atmosphere. Since it’s a small wedding, we can’t really afford (financially and figuratively) to lose 10-12 adults so they take the kids to bed. Plus, I really, really, really don’t want screaming children there. I deal with that at my job..I don’t want it at my wedding. Plus, it’s not fair to the other guests.
I just don’t know what to do. My fiance’s “compromise” is to not invite anyone with children, which I think is completely ridiculous and rude in its own right…especially since many of our guests are long time friends with each other and will think “why didn’t I get invited, but they did? I wouldn’t have wanted to bring my kids anyway!”
I don’t know what to do…especially since we know there will be an 8 and 12 year old (fiance’s family) there anyway.
We’ve gotten into such a huge arguement about this and it has become such war between the families that I’m really considering calling off the wedding (before the save the dates go out) and going to the courthouse instead.
Please help! Thank you!!!!!