(Closed) I’m afraid I’ll break down because my dad won’t be there (sorry, very emotional)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am sorry for your loss. I know its hard for you. its coming up on 2 years since my dad died suddenly and I too am an emotional mess. i am still in shock really. I cant get over he is gone. They say Time heals all wounds, i just dont know when!

I am putting a locket on my bouquet with my dads picture in it for when i walk down the isle. I have a step dad ( who has been in my life since I was 3 years old, so both my dads were very special and close to me, if dad was still alive, they would both walk me down) and he will be walking me down the isle.

Im scared to death on how I am going to be on that day, only because Im a mess on any given day as it is.

My friend at work just told me about a Mother Daughter song, I think its buy Carrie Underwood? or one of those girls. Ill find out what it is and let you know. Maybe you can dance with your mom to that song? Or I would just cut the dances out all together and hope everyone understands for obvious reasons.

I wish you lucK on what you decide and your day will be beautiful. your dad will be right there with you.

******  BIG HUGS ********




Post # 18
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I too lost my dad unexpectedly and I pretty much wanted to elope because I didn’t think I would be able to handle my wedding day without him.  But I did.  The hardest moment for me was the walk down the aisle, but my brother walked with me and he just kept saying “Step. Breathe. Step. Breathe.”  It was so sweet and while I almost lost it, I managed to keep it together. 

We made the choice to not really mention my dad much that day.  I wrote about him in the program, but that was it.  I know that’s not for everyone, but for me, I really, really needed to keep the focus on the joy of the day and try to stay present – both for myself and my husband.  I mean, everyone knows I lost my dad (and anyone on his side that didn’t figured it out pretty quick!), everyone knows I’m sad and missing him like crazy.  I KNOW I miss him like crazy.  We didn’t need to talk about it.  His best friends did pull me aside at one point to tell me how proud they were to be there and how happy my dad would have been that day, but everyone else pretty much followed my lead and didn’t say much.  I made it through and I don’t feel like I dishonored my father at all – he would have wanted me to be as happy as possible that day and I was.  Truly, the time leading up to the wedding and thinking about it were harder than the wedding day itself, lots of tears, but the wedding day was beautiful.

Also, we didn’t go any other dances beyond our first dance.  My husband still danced with his mom, it just wasn’t a spotlight dance.  They both totally understood and were fine with not doing it. 

I wish you luck and love and joy on your wedding day and every day.  It does start to get easier.  It never goes away, but it gets better.  Really. 

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