(Closed) I'm afraid parents will think we're too young?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

I sincerely wish you the best, but I have to say that if you’re honestly, legitimately concerned about your parents thinking you’re too young to get married, then you’re probably too young to get married.  Marriage is a very mature, generally responsible thing for two adults to enter into, and they should do so without worrying about what anyone else thinks.  I don’t think you’re there yet, unfortunately.

 

Also, these next few years will bring HUGE changes for both of you.  You might find that you grow apart as you become your adult versions of you.  I think it’s fine to want to marry this person but I’d encourage you to not do so for a few more years at the very least. 

Post # 4
Member
4073 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@Blanche:  “…if you’re honestly, legitimately concerned about your parents thinking you’re too young to get married, then you’re probably too young to get married.”

I have to agree.  But I wish you both the best of luck.

Post # 6
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Blanche:  “…if you’re honestly, legitimately concerned about your parents thinking you’re too young to get married, then you’re probably too young to get married.”

Yeah, I totally agree. I could understand if you were planning on a long engagement, but you guys are fresh out of school! What are your plans for university or careers? Will you be able to achieve those things while planning a wedding for which you “most likely, will be okay financially”? I would be concerned that getting married this young could limit your options in the future, not to mention the fact that you are still growing and developing as individuals…yeah, I used to hate adults saying that too, but it doesn’t change the fact that I look back on myself as an 18 year old and I’m a completely different person now, and I’m only 24 now!

But back to your original topic, I think you should just be honest and upfront with everyone about you being engaged – they’re going to find out eventually, and if they find out later, chances are they’ll be hurt as well as possibly upset at you getting engaged so young.

Post # 7
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

@MrsSweetAndTangy:  I get it, of course you want them to be happy for you.  But be prepared to continue on even if they’re not.

Post # 9
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I was 20 when I got engaged, and after 4 months of dating. Parents were livid, my family ruined my engagement. You just need to jump in with both feet and tell everyone. Deal with the consequences. People will be angry. I didn’t talk to my family for 30 days straight following my engagement. Eventually they’ll just accept it. It’s not easy, and I was devastated for a long time. I’m still bitter that my engagement was ruined.

I don’t know you, and I don’t know what you’re like as an 18 year old. So you’re going to clearly go through with this regardless, and it can go one of two ways. You either get divorced young, and ultimately learn a lot from it. Or you prove statistics wrong and you have a long and prosperous marriage. 

You really just need to bite the bullet and accept that people WILL judge, and people WILL talk about you behind your back. Stay strong and keep your head up. Sticking to your guns and not backing out of your engagement because your family disagrees with it was hard for me, but it ultimately was a great decision.

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

my Fiance and i are both 18 also. we pretty much have the same thing financially as you do

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