(Closed) I’m afraid to tell my family…

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Navy_Wife:

I’m sorry that you are going through a rough time, during a time that should be nothing but pleasant. It sucks that just because you eloped your family has seperated themselves from you. I understand that you want to rebuild those relationships, especially at a time like this. And a baby can definitely bring people closer together.

If I were you, I would probably send a heartfelt email. Letting them know how yoru life is now, and how you miss them, want to talk to them and be apart of your lives. Hopefully you get an apology, or at least some words of encouragement and support back. They are your parents arfterall. If not, well then cross that bridge when you get to it.

Goodluck!!!!! XO

Post # 4
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Navy_Wife: Personally?  MAIL them a card saying “congrats, you’re going to be grandparents” and leave it at that.  If they want to continue to snub you, harass you, and being immature about the whole thing, that’s their choice.

This way, you’re just telling them that they don’t warrent VERBAL contact (don’t blame you there!) but they do deserve to be told. 

If they call, answer and if they start harassing you, let them know that their behavior is only going to keep THEM from meeting their soon-to-be-grandchild.  

Sometimes, all they need is a grandchild to wake them up.  Other times, it takes the soon-to-be-mom to tell them there’s no way on God’s Green Earth they’re gonna get to see their grandchild until they grow up and stop their horrible behavior.

Good luck!  And sorry you gotta go through this!!! ((((HUGS!!!!!))))

 

oh, and i took this route when I got pregnant with our daughter (was still living with my parents, ugh!).  I left the letter where my mom would find it and she called me half-way to work demanding answers and eventually got over it before I got home that night.  So, there’s some hope for you! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yikes! I’m so sorry! That is soo hard. I can definitely relate to being nervous to tell your family, I was too for some weird reason, and we are close. I think telling your family you are pregnant for the first time is somehow a huge thing and either way it’s emotional. I would probably suggest talking to whoever you feel closest to, whether that’s your sister, any other siblings, or one of your parents. And I would lay down the groundwork and say that you don’t really want to hear people’s opinions, it’s not their lives its yours and this baby IS coming into the world… They just have the choice to love it and you and be there for you guys or not. I hope they would know what’s important and make the right decision.

If I were you I would probably wait until I was out of the first tri. Just because if it’s that huge of a deal, it’s better to tell when it’s safest and you’re telling the whole world. That also gives you more time to prepare. You will have to tell them eventually, so I think, carefully choose the best plan of attack and know what you’re going to say in various situations/ways they respond, and go from there. Good luck!!! 

Post # 6
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Navy_Wife: I think I would probably call my mom and just talk to her.. try and not talk about the elopement or the pregnancy.. just get back to the basics of restoring & maintaining the relationship.

See how it goes, and then you may know better where to go from there. Hope you can get it all worked out. ((hugs))

Post # 9
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Navy_Wife: awwwww ((((HUGS))))  The hormones are hell, especially in the beginning.  I definitely suggest the letter/card.  🙂  I hope your family sees the light, so to speak, and stops giving you such a rotten time.

Post # 13
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Navy_Wife: Congrats on starting your wonderful family!!!!! You looked so beautiful on your wedding day! i am so sorry that you are going through this with your family. 🙁 I agree to do a card. Keep it short and sweet. I wish you the best

Post # 14
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Im really sorry to hear your going through this. I couldnt imagine how I would approach the situation. But I do think that both the card thing and maybe just a simple phone call would be the best. See where it gets you. And people are right, sometimes a baby really does bring people together. I struggle with my in-laws… well mother in law. She is less than thrilled about the pregnancy and when I see her call I really have to prep myself up to hear some passive aggressive jabs. I know how you feel… when your pregnant and emotional and tired you just dont feel like going on the defense. Continue to be happy about your pregnancy and hopefully they will see what a blessing it is.

Post # 16
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you could try calling your parents, and if they don’t answer in a few days, send them a letter/card.

The topic ‘I’m afraid to tell my family…’ is closed to new replies.

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