(Closed) I’m almost embarrassed to post this.

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know exactly what your going threw and I felt really stupid about it too but the best thing to know is it is normal and it does get easier (If it doesnt then you really should talk to your doctor though) I have learned to take everything one day at a time and to stop stressing about things I cant control. and talking to someone really helps!

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s normal to feel that way when you are under a lot of stress. I felt similar to what you described this last year. A lot of things were going on that were just WAY too much to handle. Things got to the point where I couldn’t keep issues from affecting me at work and in class. Things always get better with time if you put forth an effort and have a positive outlook. Try to keep your chin up and find one good thing to enjoy about every day. It doesn’t have to be anything big either. Do you have any creative outlets you can channel this stress into?

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I know what you’re going through! Ugh…it really blows! Two words(for me at least) nursing school. Totally took over my life to the point when someone asked what I liked doing I couldn’t answer the question! I love nursing but the last few years of school were so stressful and I was miserable! I had my job at the coffee shop on weekends, which was a sort of nice escape, but it was still work! I had my FI(not my fiance at the time) thank god he is so patient and understanding. Well enough about my miserableness…After school was over and I finished this awesome accomplishment, I could not be happier! My bf of 7 years proposed, i started my job search, and started to enjoy life again!! I went through a bit of a ‘relapse’ into my old cranky ways about a month ago because I haven’t found a job yet, but I got over myself! I think life goes through periods of miserable, happy, just okay, or what have you! Just keep your chin up! Hope you feel better soon πŸ™‚ PM me if you want to chat!

Ps…i still live at home! Nothing wrong with that if you can do it πŸ™‚

Sent from my Android

Post # 6
Member
3151 posts
Sugar bee

I go through this feeling for a few months a year when everything seems to pile up. I hate when I feel like this, especially because I don’t want my Fiance to feel like I’m not happy. But it passes eventually and if you feel like you aren’t satisfied with what you have achieved, try pursuing a hobby that you have always been interested it! I took up volunteering! 

Post # 7
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

“…I just feel disappointed with life.”

Honey, I’m going to tell you, life is just beginning for you.  The school years are not yet ‘real life’, it does get so much better I promise.  Whilst college is fun, it is stressful, trying to figure out what you’re going to do with your life, asking yourself all the big questions (am I going to like my career?  Will I find a job?  Can I support myself? etc)   Of course it’s natural you’re feeling stressed.   I promise you though, it does get better.  The best years of my life were my 20s (ok, I’m not quite 32 right now, so I’m not THAT old), but if I narrow it down even further, your best years are the second half of your 20s.   You have a newfound maturity, financial security, and a confidence that really just isn’t there in your college years and early 20s.   Trust me, life gets so much better once all of those things set in!   πŸ™‚

It’s ok to feel stressed but just take a step back and have fun!  There’s no rush to grow up.  It’s ok if you don’t move out of your parents house right after you graduate from college.  It’s ok if you take a crap paying job for a while.  It’s ok if you feel overwhelmed and a bit stressed sometimes, it’s all just part of growing up. 

And I don’t want to put a negative spin on it, but focus on yourself right now and don’t worry about whether or not your SO is getting bored with you.  To be honest, you’re going to change a lot over the next ten years and you may, or you may not, grow apart from your SO.  If you guys are meant to be, you’ll grow together and everything will be good.  If you have to worry about keeping him happy or fear he’s getting bored, it’s a sign this may not be the right relationship.  Either way, it’s all ok.  πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ree723: i agree with everything you just said! My mom actually told me all of these things a few years ago πŸ™‚ and a few of my coffee shop regulars!(i have been there 4.5 years, so the regulars know my business haha)

Post # 9
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I feel like I’ve gone through (and am currently going through) a few of those “whoa I’m an adult, what the hell” moments in my life.  And it is tough and quite overwhelming at first.  And, I think like PP posters said, things find a way of settling and really falling into place.

After I graduated college, I went through the search of finding a job to tide me over while I looked for grad school.  And that was scary because, you know, finding a full time job I could do that could possibly relate to bigger real life goals wasn’t easy.  Though it worked out.  Then the next scarier step, finding a real career job after grad school–even more intense.  Though it worked out too.  And now there’s the whole getting married/moving/buying a car adultness hitting at once.  Though I know we’ll get through that too.

And, yeah…college is one of those odd awesome/totally stressful times, because on the one hand you’re in a slightly protective bubble of academia, with everyone in that same transitional state and on the other hand, you’re dealing with the stress of doing lots of readings and writing lots of papers and having to study for tests.  And all of that is pretty overwhelming.  I think sometimes moreso than what you deal with in the “real world.”  I graduated from grad school a bit more than a year ago, and though my job is pretty intense, there’s such a nice feeling of coming home and not having to read or write papers, and being able to have my own life separate from my job.  This didn’t seem like the case when I was in school, when school was my job and all that I did.  

So, all of that being said…times of transition and change are really overwhelming and scary.  And super stressful.  And I think if you have goals, whether general or specific, and continue to work towards those goals, you’ll find that in time, things will begin to fall into place and your stress will begin to minimize, at least a bit.  

Post # 10
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My last year of college wasn’t terribly difficult (compared to my absolutely shitty junior year), but it IS scary when you get out on your own. There’s a brief moment of panic when you realize you have to take care of yourself, get a real job, make all these payments…but it does fade. The good news is that it doesn’t last forever! I’m actually glad I’m done with school, because working isn’t nearly as stressful. No one’s grading you and you don’t have to worry about some of the other trivial crap that comes with school. It’s very refreshing to be 100% responsible for yourself, once the panic dies down.

As long as you have some idea of where you’re going, you are doing well! It’s best to make small goals and take things one day at a time.

Post # 11
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Mrs. Puffin: I’m sorry you’re feeling this way:(  My last year of college was pretty stressful too–I felt like even though I was living with my now-husband and roommates, I didn’t have a social life b/c I was so focused on school.  A couple words of advice:

-Set aside specific times to do schoolwork and to have fun (with friends, your SO, your family, etc).  Maybe every Friday or Saturday night, just make it your “fun” time where you get to do things you enjoy.  Just buckle down on the other days so you won’t feel overwhelmed when you come back.

-Find relaxing, social things to do–play board games with SO, go for long walks together, explore local towns, do yoga, whatever makes you happy.

-Know that this will pass!  College is stressful.  After I graduated, it took me a little while to find a good job, but there’s this great feeling of accomplishment that you can pay your own rent/mortgage, get the car you want, and treat yourself.

Post # 12
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

When I feel this way I go out and do something for someone else. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter. Tutor disadvantaged kids or work with habitat for humanity. Read to old people in a nursing home or work on a city clean up day.

You got some great advice rom PP’s, but I know for me, I start feeling like this when I’m thinking too much about myself and my problems and not enough about others and not doing things that feel worthwhile.

Personally, these type of things always get me out of a funk.

Post # 13
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think this is totally normal.

One of the best decisions I ever made in my life was to stop carring.

What?!? You stopped carring?

Yes. I just stopped worrying about where I was going in life, who I was going to be, what my end goals were for everything. I’m a well put together gal and I work hard…so pressuring myself into accomplishing the world and pushing myself to be 9 steps ahead of my actual life (ie researching my next degree before I even start the first) was just making me depressed.

I was getting so caught up in becoming someone…that I forgot to BE someone. That time to yourself that you’re missing is really important. Spending 20 minutes to chat with a girlfriend, snuggle with Fiance, go for a walk, or just have a cup of tea won’t ruin your future, but forgetting about yourself could.

I really cannot tell you how cool it is just to be content with today. It took a fair bit of work for me to break that cycle, but its pretty cool and I highly recommend it.

Post # 14
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

oh honey i’m sorry your feeling so down. I know how you feel i’m having trouble finding work and having money to finish school because of it. Sometimes it makes me feel like I am letting SO down even though he swears i’m not. I think everyone in their 20 feels  unhappy with how their life is going at one point or another but even more so now with the enconomy they way it is. (I have seen people with their Masters not finding jobs) its just so sad. Moving home is a great way to save money and I dont think anyone will aruge with that these days. All you can do is try your best to do well in school good luck πŸ™‚

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