- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
So after getting the ring last weekend from my parents and pushing me to get it sized right away so he could propose this weekend, I get a call from the jewelry store on Thursday night saying it’s ready. I’m out with friends and text the boy thinking tonight would be perfect to pick it up since I’m out of the house. No ring Thursday.
Then, yesterday, he asks all formal in the morning if I’d accompany him to dinner–at an unknown location and the tab’s on him. I’m getting excited, then I get a text saying not to be disappointed and that he will do it tomorrow but just wants to enjoy the evening with me. Thinking he’s trying to throw me off, I get even more excited. On the way to the restaurant, he tells me his little brother called to congratulate us, but wants us to move our date back by four months so his fiancee doesn’t feel like I’m hogging the spotlight. I’m upset but I agree. And we’re not even engaged yet. Take a walk, no ring. Drive home, no ring. No ring last night.
Now, today rolls around, and I assume he’s going to get it today and propose tonight. Then when I mention having plans on Sunday (a secret boudior session for his upcoming bday in which I would’ve liked to showcase my engagement ring), he says he’ll just pick it up tomorrow then because it makes more sense. He’s gone for a baseball conference all next week and weekend, then we’re moving into our new place the next weekend–so I’ll concede being stressed about that.
But the lack of sticking to his word about today being the day, on top of having to move our wedding, having to rework my boudior ideas, and family members calling to congratulate something that’s not official yet, and my bosses saying they expect to see the ring on Monday–I lost it. Just started crying in bed next to him and gasping things out like “I’m sad that this isn’t important to you… I thought we were getting engaged today”. And he just sat there and didn’t say anything the whole time I cried. Then got up, took a shower, helped me make the bed and asked what I’m doing today. When I said “laundry and chores but I was thinking we could do dinner and a movie tonight” he responded with “that sounds good..I’m going to go get the ring so I can propose tonight” in this awful, flat, emotionless voice.
Now I’m pressuring and now I’m forcing him to do it tonight. Right? Because even if he had planned on doing it anyways, I feel like I completely fucked it up by getting all emotional about it. And now if he DOES do it tonight, I feel like it’s because I forced the issue. I feel like shit. I feel bad for hurting his feelings and I feel bad because he hasn’t done it already. I genuinely thought he would’ve been too excited to wait, gotten the ring on Thursday and popped the question when I got home. But the pickup slip was still in his wallet this morning.
Any advice on what I should say or do to smooth things ovr would be much appreciated. I mean if I were him, I definitely wouldn’t be able to stomach the thought of proposing tonight and I woudln’t want to start this chapter of our lives together off with a fight.