- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Just venting my frustrations here.
FH and I are both graduate students. We live in two diffeent cities, very far away. Both of our families live local to a third city that is also very far from our two respective cities.
We are getting married in this third city so that travel is easy for our families. We have a venue and now we are trying to find a church. Considering the sheer amount of churches in the city, I thought this would be the EASIEST part of planning. Now I think we’re going to get married a city hall.
We originally told FH’s mom that we would marry in a Catholic church because she is Catholic and we know it would mean the world to her. my FH is Catholic but I am Protestant. That is not technically an impediment to being married in the Catholic Church. However, to be married in any Catholic church, we needed to provide a letter of approval from my FH’s home parish because we would not be getting married there. FH hasn’t gone to church in over 10 years and so they will not write the letter (understandably so.) Consequently, we cannot get married in his old church (which is way too far away from the venue, anyway), nor can we get permission to marry in any other Catholic church.
Now that we’ve begun to look at Protestant churches, I’m finding that many won’t marry people that aren’t their own parishoners. i keep trying to ask if they make special exceptions, as we are students trying to accomodate our families.
I just received an email that seemed rather snarky and I just want to throw my hands in the air and give up entirely! I had e-mailed a church that I had found asking if they could conduct the interviews over skype or the phone rather than in person because it would be difficult for FH and I to find a time where we could both fly in from our respective cities to the third city.
She replied like so:
Thank you for your email and questions.
It sounds like this will be too difficult to coordinate. It is necessary for you to meet with the clergy in person in the months leading up to the ceremony. To be frank, we receive hundreds of inquiries each year from couples wanting to get married here so the rules are as they are.
My best to you as your fiancé.
-contact person at said church”
Maybe it was rude of me to ask if they ever make exceptions, but I don’t understand how to plan to marry in another city without unlimited funds to keep flying back and forth on Sundays. This isn’t the first time I’ve received a response like this in the last two weeks. Arg.